Originally posted on Fox Sports Houston  |  Last updated 3/16/12
Five things I'm thinking about this weekend while wondering what happened to all my favorite TruTV shows. 1. Something that seems true (and totally is): It's time to turn off Chappelle's Show, because your 2002 Houston Rockets are making a playoff push. I am sure that is where Marcus Camby and Derek Fisher are leading the franchise, and I'm willing to bet my Linkin Park CD on it. These guys are old, is what I'm saying. I think a lot of Rockets fans are too hard on Daryl Morey, who has caught some tough and unusual breaks, but while I think Marcus Camby and Derek Fisher can help the Rockets make the playoffs, I don't think they get the franchise appreciably closer to winning an NBA championship. So I don't really see the point. I am, however, happy to see them arrive. Because a lot has changed in the last 10 years, but knowing Camby and Fisher are still in the NBA is vaguely comforting for a sportswriter encroaching on 30. 2. A thing that doesn't seem true (but totally is): I am an idiot. Oh, I know what you're thinking. No way, Tully. You have a brilliant mind and in addition to being well-traveled and almost always correct about sports, are probably great with children, dogs and used car salesmen. Why thank you. I agree. But it's just not true. I know that because Buffalo Bills fans told me yesterday, when I wrote the Houston Texans were better than the Buffalo Bills and that city of Buffalo didn't offer Mario Williams anything Houston didn't. I am an idiot, and it has been proven with sound reasoning. This is the best e-mail I got. I have made no edits. "You talk and look just like a dumb zz hick I expected. Inferior - u gotta be kidding me - your team makes the playoffs for the 1st time ever and that makes you an expert on football. I doubt you have ever been to western NY - the food is 100 times better than the same old BBQ crap you all eat. Go ahead and add some more lard to you biscuits and gwavy - maybe some blocked coronaries will make you think before you speak. People of WNY are much friendlier and more know much more of the sport tha a bunch of dimb azz hicks - that finally support a team once it starts winning. Once Foster goes down your team is done. Talk about inferior - coming from that big important town of KC Missouri - you got 6 fingers from inbreedin dere Tully - thats worse than a boy called Sue. Aint u one of those there muppets Tully! Next time you decide to downgrade a city you better check it out - I live in memphis now but would leave this southern cesspool in a minute to go back to that good ole life in WNY. PS - Kansas Jayhawks ? IS basketball really a sport - only for wimps like people called Tully I guess." And who could argue against that? 3. Something that is neither true nor untrue (but is fun to talk about): College basketball has the least accurate system for determining its champion in all of sports. If the BCS were in charge, we would have been guaranteed a national championship game involving Kentucky and Syracuse, who were without any doubt the best two college basketball teams this season. We may still end up getting that matchup, but the odds are against it. The odds are pretty good, actually, that some team that has been obviously inferior to both Kentucky and Syracuse for five months will end up with the title. That's what makes the NCAA Tournament the most exciting American sporting event, but it also is what makes its result the least satisfying. In college football, the best team almost always wins the national championship. The same is true in the sports that use series. The NFL playoffs are susceptible upsets the same way the NCAA Tournament is, but because of the 3-point line basketball is far less predictable. I love the NCAA Tournament because I love basketball and I find an upset every bit as thrillin gas the next person. But it's a sugar rush. The substance is in the matchups between the best teams on the biggest stage. I don't like the feeling of knowing a better team is at home because of one fluky performance in a 40-game season. I know I'm right about this, so don't bother e-mailing. 4. Something that recently happened: This is my first (Houston) rodeo, and I found out that for a lot of Houstonians, saying, "I'm going to the rodeo," is really a way of saying, "I'm going to ride carnival rides near the rodeo." This was new, because where I come from, the biggest rodeo around is the Pretty Prairie Rodeo (Pretty Prairie being a town, not a description), and, well, if you're going to that thing, you'd better be prepared to get your boots dirty. I would also note there are no domed stadiums in Pretty Prairie, Kansas. 5. Something that is about to happen: Pitbull is going to stop making music entirely and focus solely on his career as a beverage pitch man. No one will miss the music.
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