Originally written on Comedic Prose  |  Last updated 11/14/14

The New York Knicks kept their streak intact Monday night by losing their 12th playoff game in a row. After being beat down by the Miami Heat in Game 2, Amare Stoudemire suffered a laceration on his hand after punching a fire extinguisher case. (That’s kind of ironic, because they couldn’t put out the Heat. “How terrible was that joke?”). Why someone would try to punch a fire extinguisher is beyond me. It’s not like you can say you didn’t see it, because those things are decorated like Christmas trees. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was all did up with a bow tie and cuff links. As a rule of thumb I believe you never punch something harder than your hand. However I’m a novice when it comes to these things. Perhaps Amare is a pioneer in the frustration industry? Most people with anger problems would punch a wall or a woman, but Stoudy took it up another notch and went fire extinguisher. So I admire him for his ambition, but next time he should think it through a little more. Even though thinking something through, goes against everything the New York Knicks believe in.

I understand Amare’s frustration. Dude has played with injuries the entire year. He works hard on defense (his defense is suspect but he does work hard. It’s kind of like that scene in Next Friday, “They’re 10s but I keep them clean”), yet on offense he rarely get plays run for him. Half the time he doesn’t even touch the ball, because the black hole that is Melo, is jab stepping until the shot clock runs out.

I don’t know if everyone forgot, but Amare Stoudemire is the person that started the New York movement. Before he went there in the summer of 2010, there wasn’t anybody knocking down Madison Square Garden’s door. I know people like to think of New York and the Knicks as this holy Mecca of basketball, but their biggest free agent before Amare was Bernard King in 1982. Stoudemire brought the Knicks back to relevancy. If it weren’t for Amare there would have been no, Carmelo, Tyson Chandler, or Linsanity (whatever happened to Linsanity? read about it here). So when Amare Stoudemire gets 9 shots in a playoff game he has to be on the bench thinking, “I started this gangster ish*1 and this is the thanks I get. You think you can do this to me? … I’m the man up in this piece2. I’m calling D’Antoni! It’s time to take the show to Orlando3.”


1. Ice Cube, go get it. 2. Training Day, Denzel Washington, go get it.  31. I think it would be fantastic if Amare was traded to Orlando for Dwight Howard. Then the Magic could hire Mike D’Antoni and put the band back together. That style of play would suit Orlando well.


New York Knicks Problems Part 2


Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane


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