Originally posted on Rumors and Rants  |  Last updated 7/2/13
Could the biggest free agency decision in the NBA this offseason be determined by the persuasive powers of a gentleman named Slim Thug? Maybe — like Kevin Garnett once said, anything is possiiiiiiiblllllllle. Houston-bred rapper Slim Thug took to Twitter on Monday in an attempt to convince Dwight Howard to sign a contract with his hometown Rockets. As you might expect, it ended up making for Twitter gold. Slim on the matter of teammate’s egos: Yooo @DwightHoward what uppp gone come down to Houston G we got ya u already know Kobe gone act like a girl and blame u all season — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013   On the subject of houses and hoes: We real out here u can buy a big ass crib for cheap ill throw u a few assist on hoes make your next move your best move G @DwightHoward — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013   On the quality of Houston’s gentleman’s club scene, which, by the way, I can totally back Slim Thug on: Have u ever been to @dreamshouston or V-Live @DwightHoward ??? LA ain’t got strippers like we do — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013   On the low cost of child support, which makes me wonder how Shawn Kemp never wound up in a Rockets uniform: We both got babymamas @DwightHoward do u know that they only get 20% in Houston it’s wayyyy worst in LA — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013   On the low cost of getting faded. As a sidenote, I am impressed by Slim Thug’s tweeting skills in this one, as I can’t figure out how to get that accent thing over the e:  A bottle of rosé in a Houston club is $250 max in LA $1000 befo taxes and gratuity @DwightHoward — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013     Yes, the Galleria is very nice: The galleria mall is a fool kid every store in one spot stay crawling with Bad ******* @DwightHoward — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013    You know what else is nice? Chicks who don’t wear a lot of clothing in their avatars: Yo @DwightHoward meet @IAmMaliahMichel @MercedesMorr @miraclewatts00 @Lira_Galore @IAmTresureP @MisMODELKIKI @victoriarrrose @MAC_BXTCH — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013   James Harden does live like a king. From the looks of his beard, one from the 14th century: A @DwightHoward dat boy @JHarden13 out here living like a king — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013   No one will even notice you started playing until January! No pressure: And @DwightHoward we got the Texans so not too much pressure on winning a ring this year we got time to grow u kno LA gone hate tho — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013   I think Slim loses some momentum here. The ability to legally text and drive in Texas probably won’t compare very well to future Nuggets and Blazers pitches of “Hey, you can smoke weed here.” And u can talk on the phone and text while u drive down here @DwightHoward — slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013 Oh, and just in case you are in the 96 percent of my regular audience that has no idea who Slim Thug is, I would like to present his magnum opus, which proves that Flock of Seagulls can be turned into a rap song.
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