Originally written May 07, 2012 on Purple Jesus Diaries:

Welcome to Purple Jesus Diaries' 2012 NFL Draft-or-Bust Off where we cover all items related to the 2012 NFL Draft as pertains to the Minnesota Vikings. At this point in the year, we will continue reviewing this crop of draft picks. We've already looked at Matt Kalil, Harrison Smith, and Josh Robinson, so today we introduce you to the Minnesota Vikings' first receiver drafted in 2012, former Arkansas spark plug, Jarius Wright ...


WHO? Former Arkansas wide receiver, Jarius Wight, all 5'10" of him, along with his 180 pounds. He played four years at Arkansas and nabbed a bunch of different Arkansas and SEC receiving awards and set a bunch of records. Setting records at Arkansas isn't really THAT awesome, since they are like the Missouri of the SEC before Missouri actually became the Missouri of the SEC, but getting top honors across the SEC is actually noteworthy. Also noteworthy? Wright was born in Arkansas, played high school football in Arkansas, then went to Arkansas for college. Now? He goes North! Poor son of a *****. It's cold up here.

Also, he was born in 1989. What the hell. I drink scotch older than he is.
 
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POTENTIAL NICKNAMES: Some of the combine recaps on Wright offer up the name "Mr. Reliable." I don't mind that because it kind of sounds like a porn name, but am also hesitant to give him that nickname until he proves reliable in a Vikings uniform. We could also go with Percy2.0, Isle of Wright, The Wright Stuff, Serious Jarius, Wright Flight, Wright as Wrain, or Ghostface Killah. Seriously. Does he not look like Ghostface in his class photo? Like a mini me version of Ghostface. Awesome.

HE BE TWEETING? To my knowledge, no! I find that endearing. A professional athlete, 22 years old, that does not tweet. He must be an old soul.


GOODNESS: Wright is an interesting little dynamo. He's small and light, but quick and elusive. By all indicators, he runs a great route, is shifty off the line of scrimmage, and can shake defenders with his salsa-hips coming out of breaks. Again, they called him "Mr. Reliable" because he would frequently make the impossible catch downfield at Arkansas, despite the fact that he was playing with the debilitating disease of "being short." However, maybe that's just one of those things where if you try really hard and pull yourself up by your boot straps, you can overcome any obstacle! *inspirational quote* Also, Wright is fast. Like Raiders'-team-speed fast. He ran the quickest shuttle time at the combine, if that counts for anything. His 40 clocks in at around 4.4, so he can get down field well. Regardless, I'm sure he burns like John David Booty. On top of this, he's got a knack for finding the endzone (if that's a thing), and put up 12 touchdowns as a senior in Arkansas' pro-style offense in 2011. NICE.

BAD NEWS BEARS: The downside to Wright is pretty obvious. The dude is undersized for an NFL receiver. Not only his he Frodo Baggins small, but I bet Frodo weighs more than him, too. 180 pounds is pretty light for an NFL player. Chris Kluwe is probably even close to 200, and he's not going to be getting blasted over the middle by a safety like Wright will be. On top of this, some reports say his hands are small (he'd be a great carnival worker ...) and he has issues securing the ball after the catch, likely leading to a lot of fumbles. That's something we don't need. But, if he clears that all up, he'd be a like little 3rd, 4th receiver.


THE FINAL VERDICT: Sounds awesome, right? Man, this Jarius Wright would be the perfect player to have as like a short, quick, explosive slot receiver that could also return some kicks and maybe be used in some trick plays like running out of the backfield and stuff .... Or, we could just use Percy Harvin. That's the problem I have with this pick; he's a repeat of something we already have, and was picked at a time in the draft when other needs were larger, particularly a big bodied receiver. Now, we did pick up his Arkansas teammate Greg Childs later in the draft, but was he really the guy we had out eye on the whole time? It's just that Wright seems like a luxury pick with this team that we didn't need. Sure, some have said that Wright is an insurance pick in case Harvin gets more migraines, misses more games, or smokes himself retarded. And while I get the initial argument behind that, I don't think you use this pick to get insurance on Harvin when you still don't have a receiver who can play as the number one guy. That's just bad drafting, and I just don't want to think that Spielman was sucking at drafting already. Also, since Wright hurt his head, was throwing up at the rookie training camp over the weekend, and missed Friday's practice, it looks like the "Harvin Insurance" theory is already **** on. Awesome work, front office!

If everything pans out, Wright could be a nice offensive player. He won't change any games, but he could be an effective 3rd or 4th guy eventually and end up reminding me of Kelley Campbell, who I absolutely was gay for with no good reason. So, go ahead Wright, make me gay for you, too!

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