Originally posted on The Sports Bank  |  Last updated 8/19/13
The new drinking game for Chicago Bears telecasts this year: “Marc Trestman is a quarterback whisperer.” I’m already very sick of this, and we’re still weeks away from the actual season even starting!  We’ll see if he can solve Jay Cutler; optimize him. Like no other quarterback coach can. By the way, if you’re looking for the shortest possible football books “Jay Cutler cares” would be right at the top of the list. Everyone knows that the greatest rap album of all time, the double album “All Eyez on Me” is a mantra that definitely applies to Cutler. He’s not Pac, but he’s all the Chicago Bears have, have recently had, and will have for a long while probably. We won’t even talk about the Chicago Bears second string QB because the season is over if we’re talking about him. The Bears recently brought in Trent Edwards and Jordan Palmer to fight for the last QB spot. Palmer sucks, and I’ve never even hard of him but Edwards sucks too. And his suckitude is pretty well known. He also wears #5 which means it’s inevitable that his life will be scandalous and filled with controversy and bad press. This theory is proven here. The kicking and punting game is solid and reliable, and unchanged so we’ll just move on to the RS. I don’t know if  “3 Bears Rookies worth watching” appeared in the RedEye print edition or not. However, there are some snippets in the online version I take issue with. Under the Michael Ford subheading (yes I saw his 100 yard return Thursday night, but bear in mind that this HORRIBLE “article” was written BEFORE that happened: “With Devin Hester and Eric Weems in that role as well, opponents may never kick off or punt to the Bears again.” I thought I was reading a daily commuter newspaper, not a game notes distributed by Chicago Bears media relations. Unless Hester was #1 and Weems #2 in return yards in the NFL last season, and Ford #1 in 2012 FBS return yardage, this sentence doesn’t make even a lick of sense. In total return yardage, Hester was 15th in the league, Weems did not even crack the top 40. In kickoff return average, Hester was 10th, Weems was out of the top 25.  Among punt returners, Hester was 9th in yardage, 23rd in yard per return average. After further research that sentence becomes even worse than upon initial glance. Weems had just one punt return for zero yards last year. Thirteen kickoff returns for 231 yards. In his NFL career, he has just two return touchdowns; in over 200 attempts! That sentence is giving me an ice cream headache now! By the way, do you know how many punt returns Michael Ford had in his career at LSU? ZERO! And do you know how many kickoff returns he had while playing college football? Twenty. And how many return touchdowns in total from kickoffs and punts? Yes, ZERO! Chicago Bears RB/LB Chicago Bears OL/DL Chicago Bears WR/TE/DB Chicago Bears overview/predictions Paul M. Banks is the owner of The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports. An analyst for 95.7 The Fan, he also writes on Chicago sports media for Chicago Now. President Obama follows him on Twitter (@paulmbanks) The post 2013 Chicago Bears season preview QB/ST appeared first on The Sports Bank.Net.
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