Found May 02, 2013 on Purple Jesus Diaries:
The post-draft sex glow is all about us as we move into the doldrums of the NFL off-season, but there's still much to talk about with the Vikings 2013 NFL Draft picks. In Purple Jesus Diaries' NFL Draft-or-Bust Off, we review each pick in turn and provide some further amateur insight for you. Previously we looked at Sharrif Floyd and Xavier Rhodes, and today, we continue with the Vikings third pick of the first round, wide receiver Cordarrelle Patterson from Tennessee ... Who? Cordarrelle Patterson, which to my understanding is pronounced "CORE-Dare-Uhl" Patterson rather than "Core-Duh-Relle" Patterson, is probably the best thing to come out of the state of Tennessee in the last ... What ... Decade? At least? He's a 6'2", 216 pound receiver that isn't just happy with catching balls. Oh no, Patterson is a true NFL Renaissance man in that he not only CATCHES the ball, but he HOLDS on to the ball, CARRIES the ball, and RETURNS the ball as well. He does everything! And here's the catch! He's not some cheat code, hokey circus freak show you wheel out to the crowd like Darren Sproles or Percy Harvin is, no. Patterson is a legit receiver in his own right, owning a ridiculous combination of size, speed, agility, and awareness that makes him an ACTUAL threat in the receiving game, instead of just like ... You know ... Devin Hester or something. So that's pretty cool. Nickname Generator I haven't been able to come up with as cool of a nickname for Cordarrelle as we all have for the other first rounders. Early contenders remain his self created nickname "C Flash P", but I don't really approve of that one. There's only one guy I know who can make up his own nicknames, and Cordarrelle isn't it. "Corduroy" has been suggested, which I think is a decent one. It reminds me of his hair cut, AND his name, all at once! Other idea submissions have included "CDP", "Knick Knack Patty Whack", "C-Patt Machine" (I like that one), and "New Moss." I'm open to your other ideas in the comments. He Be Tweeting? Patterson has his Twitter handle, which is conveniently also his self-made nickname, at @ceeflashpee84. Someone needs to get in touch with him about a marketing opportunity, because his Twitter page looks awful, by the way. He's also a big fan on Instagram, apparently, and you can find him there at @ceeflashpee, again. I'm sorry man, I'm just, not feeling that nickname. The Sexy Stuff The Vikings may actually have a real receiver on their hands that they didn't have to sign in free agency! When was the last time this happened, Sidney Rice? I mean, I guess Percy Harvin, but when I'm talking receiver, I'm talking about a lot of the skill set that Patterson brings to the table. His size and speed and strength is all pretty impressive, and he was mentioned several times as the second most explosive offensive player in the draft aside from Tavon Austin. But Austin is essentially a Harvin clone too, probably not as legit, and Patterson is just an all around dynamic player. He exploded at Tennessee as a JUCO Junior player and showed great separation on deep routes, slants, and great football smarts to find soft spots in zones, turn up field immediately, and fight defensive backs for balls. He could pretty easily turn into a great outside receiver for the Vikings, if not a legit number one receiver for the team. Bottom line, Patterson is pretty damn good, and the Vikings all of a sudden have a receiving core. Slow Your Roll Uh, I honestly don't know what the big knock is on him, relatively speaking. I guess the big thing is whether or not the type of production we all saw from him at Tennessee can be consistent. He only played one year of big time college ball, after bouncing around the JUCO levels for a while. So he needs more experience, that's a given. Sure, he also needs to shore up his route running a little bit, and he catches a lot of balls with his body instead of his hands, even when he doesn't need to, but ... Jesus ... Maybe he could be taller? Or a Calvin Johnson clone? I have no idea. Patterson was never really asked to go up and get vertical jump balls because his quarterbacks could hit him in stride or because his coaches never called that play for him, but he'll get that opportunity in Minnesota because, Christian Ponder, so we'll see if he can do that I guess. But again ... PATTERSON, BRO. Video Highlights Final Verdict I originally didn't think I was, but I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS PICK. There's something about Patterson's moves that remind me of Randy Moss while he's accelerated in the open field past defenders, and even a little Tim Brown or Jerry Rice when he's in close to a guy and he spins away from them or jukes them out of their ****. It's pretty exciting. Now, of course I'm not saying he's going to be as good as any of these guys. I think Patterson is going to be best as a 5 - 15 yarder, possession type of guy that will be able to take those short passes long ways. He obviously has skills on special teams and will definitely off-set the injury of losing Percy Harvin there. It's not too ridiculous to envision Patterson stepping into the kick returning role early on this year while he learns the NFL game speed and everything else. But once he does, and he figures out how to apply those fancy pants moves against NFL defensive backs, holy boners. Things are going to be electric in Minnesota again. So, yes, hopes are high for Cordarrelle, and I'm excited for him to be joining the team and to wear the number 84. To his benefit, I'm already certain he won't be worse than Troy Williamson, so he's got that going for him. Which is nice. [follow] Images via

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