WOW. Last week was awesome huh? If i didn't monkey around and give you guys the over/under/ml picks I would've gotten 12 of 13 right. As it was, I got 8 right and 5 wrong here. Amazingly my lock of the week was the only game against the spread that I lost, the rest was just crazy picks for you kids and I am vowing now to not go nuts and give you more spread picks. All in all, last week was our best week of the season by far and it will only get better. To date, I am 60-53, 4-4 on locks of the week and 2-6 on upset specials. Lets keep making money this week, on to the picks. As always, all lines are from TheGreek. Hot cheerleader is Sabrina C. from the Atlanta Falcons. Scroll to the bottom if you want to skip to the Upset Special and the Lock of the Week.*KANSAS CITY +6.5 at Jacksonville
After the stinker the Jags laid last week, I am not sure how they are favored by almost a touchdown against the Chiefs. They've lost to the Titans and only beat the Rams by 3 points, are we so sure that they will beat the Chiefs down by a friggin touchdown? Certainly NOT! I personally think its more likely that without the Larry Johnson mope-show around, the Chiefs might be focused enough to actually win this one. Clock is always right two times a day, this might be the 2nd time. Take the Chiefs.
Baltimore at Cincinnati +3
Ok, the Bengals went to Baltimore and beat the Ravens, but the Ravens are the favorites on the road against them...I don't get it. This, to me, is an example of the public putting money on a sentimental favorite and not giving respect to the underdog...who shouldn't be an underdog. Just take the home dog, and watch double your money come back to you.
Houston at INDIANAPOLIS -9
Really not sure what is going to happen here, I think the loss of Owen Daniels is really going to hurt the Texans' offense more than a lot of people think. Without O.D. and with Ryan Moats starting at RB for them, I just think the Colts' defense can key in on Andre Johnson and keep shutting down Kevin Walter like so many teams have before them. Take the Colts.
GREEN BAY -9.5 at Tampa Bay
This one, in theory, should be a cakewalk for the Pack. The Bucs are horrible, just horrible and the Packers have proven that when Aaron Rogers has time to throw, he's damn near unstoppable. Don't even think about taking the Bucs here. Its Packers all the way.
Miami at New England -10.5
Miami is not going to be able to catch up to New England once they take the lead and begin pressing down on the neck of the Dolphins...wait do Dolphins even have necks? Maybe they'll just be pushing down on the blow hole or some ****. Anyway, the Patriots are feeling the flow right now, Brady and Moss and WELLLKAHH yadda yadda you know what is gonna happen here. Pats win, boring. You take the Pats to win, you win, exciting. Exciting is good. Do it.
Carolina at NEW ORLEANS -13
If any game has the smell of "Letdown Game" all over it, it is this one, yet I am still picking the Saints. The reason is that once Carolina gets behind, they are going to have to throw. When Carolina throws, Darren Sharper is going to be intercepting balls from Jake Delhomme at least 10 times in this game, with 6 of them being returned for touchdowns. Book it. Ship it. Saints cover, take em.
DETROIT +10 at SeattleStafford is gonna play, Megatron (see right) is back and Kevin Smith isnt hurt, surely they can keep up with the Seahawks in this one. Yes we all know Seattle is a difficult place to play, but the 'Hawks are hurting on their O line and their running game is horrendous even when it is healthy. They won't be able to grind out a win here, Detroit will keep this one close. Take the Lions to cover.
Also, how ******* cool is it that Calvin Johnson is nicknamed Megatron? Its a great nickname, I'd love to be nicknamed Megatron, but despite its awesomeness, does it even make any sense to call him that? Its not like he is evil, its not like the Lions are the "bad guys" in any game they play in, and its not like he's the leader of the team. He is a wide receiver, by the nature of his position he is a complimentary player.
I think that if Calvin Johnson had to be nicknamed for a Transformer, he should've been named Ultra Magnus (see right). Don't know who he is? Well do listen on. First off, he is an Autobot, a good guy, which by all accounts Calvin Johnson is. Also, the Autobots were the gritty gutty underdogs a lot of the time to the Decepticons and their evil schemes. Always on the defense, never on the attack. See, UM was a city commander, not a supreme commander like Optimus Prime or something, so he wasn't the man in charge, just one of the team leaders. A complimentary role. He also was a car carrier when he transformed. He could literally carry his team on his back if need be, much like CJ can do now. Also, when he did kick it into gear, he was one of the most devastating Autobots out there. Plus Ultra Magnus is just a damn cool name. If I ever have a son, you'd better believe that boy is going to be named Ultra Magnus. Magnus Ver Magnusson can suck it!Tennessee at SAN FRANCISCO -4
I love this years 49ers. They play some entertaining games even though they've lost their last 3 games. I think this one they win. We all know the Titans are a bad football team and even though they dismantled the Jags last week, they will show their spots in this one. The Vince Young comeback will hit a snag against the 49ers defense and San Fran should come away winning this one by a TD
SAN DIEGO +4.5 at New York Giants
The Giants are a hurt team. Ever since Eli has battled his foot injury he has been less than effective at the helm of the Giants offense, and that was after one brilliant start to the season. Not to mention the health of their secondary with Aaron Ross probably out again. Meanwhile the Chargers have won 2 in a row but really haven't beat anyone good this year. This is their chance...which of course means Norv will **** it up somehow. Regardless, I'm all over the Chargers in this one.
Speaking of NYC though, what the hell is up with the massive all media orgy over the NY Giants winning the World Series? I know New Yorkers think their city is the center of the universe and pretty much the center of the news media universe, but Christ on a stick, if I have to hear "All is right in the universe now" or "The world is right again" or "The trophy is back where it belongs" from another mouth breathing or "I am not emo anymore because being a hipster is much cooler" New Yorker I might actually have to slap a bitch. The trophy belongs with whomever won that year asshats. You never hear Steelers' fans say "All is right in the universe now, the Lombardi trophy is back where it belongs" when they win yet another Super Bowl? You dont hear it when the Red Wings dominate yet another Stanley Cup? No, so shut the **** up and enjoy your moment in somewhat of a classy manner. You remember how you hated all the wannabe Red Sox fanboy assholes with their pink hats and popped collars suddenly thinking their **** didn't stink because they were fans of a team that won a couple World Series? Remember that? Well learn from it for once. You've won 2 World Series in 9 years, congrats...that is a .222 average. Whoop-de-******-doo. That is better than some, not as good as others. Also, you live in a city where you cannot see the sun. YOU CANNOT SEE THE SUN AND YOUR STREETS STINK LIKE YESTERDAY'S GARBAGE. Enjoy your parade fucksticks and I hate you all.Dallas at Philadelphia UNDER 48
Philadelphia's offense thrives off of the big play, as does Dallas' offense. I'm going out on a limb on this one and I'm gonna say both of their defenses are actually playing better than both of their offenses right now and I think that this one actually could be quite a defensive struggle. Will it happen? Probably not with my track record on over/unders, but I am gonna give it a shot anyway. Go under!
PITTSBURGH -3 at Denver
The Steelers are back...well Polamalu is back which means the STEELERS ARE BACK. Denver lost for the first time last week and they will lose this one as well. They will pressure Big Ben and sack him a couple times, but they will also get gashed when they blitz and fail. Their dink and dunk offense will not be able to get any momentum against the vaunted Steelers defense and that will prevent the surprising Broncos D from getting off the field enough to be competitive late in the game. Steelers win this and cover, take em.
UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK
ARIZONA +3 at Chicago
Last week the Cardinals went out to the east coast and shocked the world by beating the Giants. Well they didnt shock me, I picked that game right. Trust me when I say that I am also picking this one right. The Cards are starting to round into form on offense and defense, while the Bears are struggling in all facets of the game. If Arizona can get any pressure on Cutler, he will throw an INT or two. If you were brave, you'd take the ML, but since its only +125, you should take the points.
LOCK OF THE WEEK
Washington at ATLANTA -10Normally a bye week should help a team. I do not think it helped the Redskins too much to have 2 weeks to sit around and think about the abortion of a season they are having right now. This season is going so bad, Dan Snyder, he of the Dark Heart, even showed himself in public and sort of apologized to his fans...sorta. Players dont know what is going on. Coaches dont know what is going on. Total disarray here in Washington DC...which leads me to this. There is no way the Redskins don't get blown out this week by the Falcons. No. Way. In. Hell. The season has been a bad one, but the one thing missing so far is a dominating blow out by an opponent and I think it happens this week. This is the week it goes from embarrassing to just sad. A cloud of no hope will fall on the city (if it weren't there already) and it is a LOCK that this week Atlanta covers 10 points.
*Deuce of Davenport is only doing this column for entertainment purposes only, you'd be a fool to actually follow any of this advice and/or these picks. We accept no responsibility for anyone actually gambling with these picks.
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