Fantastic. Michael Crabtree and his entourage are ******* nuts.

Michael Crabtree and his "advisers" are holding out for lots of money and threatening to sit out this year and re-enter the 2010 draft. Arnaz Battle, meanwhile, is still a starting receiver. Here's how the negotiations are going:

Niners Camp: Hi, Michael, how are you?

Crabtree Brigade: Not good man.

Niners Camp: We know you want big bucks. How does No. 10 money sound?

Crabtree Brigade: It sounds like Eminem doing an Earth, Wind and Fire cover.

Niners Camp: What?

Crabtree Brigade: Doesn't sound good. I want more than Heyward-Bey.

Niners Camp: What pick was he?

Crabtree Brigade: Seven.

Niners Camp: And you were, what? Ten. How 'bout No. 10 money?

Crabtree Brigade: But I'm better than Darrius.

Niners Camp: We know! That's why we picked you. But we can only give you No. 10 money.

Crabtree Brigade: But I was projected to go higher than him. In mocks. In one mock, I was the top pick. I want No. 1 money.

Niners Camp: How 'bout No. 10 money?

Crabtree Brigade: We'll hold out.

Niners Camp: We'll give you $15 million over five years.

Crabtree Brigade: What's Darrius getting?

Niners Camp: It doesn't matter. FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS!!!

Crabtree Brigade: What did Stafford get?

Niners Camp: How about instead of giving you No. 10 money, we give you something a little bit lower than No. 9 money and higher than No. 11 money.

Crabtree Brigade: Maybe.

Niners Camp: Then it's settl...

Crabtree Brigade: WAIT! You tricked me. I'm not going for No. 10 money.

Niners Camp: What if we give you top-five money, but then you have to give some back?

Crabtree Brigade: No.

Niners Camp: How about No. 10 money and we'll get one of the Gold Rush to blow you after every home game?

Crabtree Brigade: No. Maybe.