10) If his comeback doesn't work out, can't subsequently join the CFL, UFL or DFL9) Part of his salary has to be paid for by grateful bloggers8) Can only patronize truly attractive strippers, for fear of a backslide7) Has to accept Tony Dungy as his personal savior, and gay people as his personal scapegoat6) Needs to accept that, no matter what team signs him next, he's going to end up in Oakland5) Must show remorse and contrition in his comeback commercials4) Can't talk to th...