Found November 28, 2012 on Purple Jesus Diaries:
Dallas-cowboys-green-bay
In a surprise move of the 2012 NFL season, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has finally come to terms with his own body and made a sports-media shattering announcement. He has finally come out of the blanket and revealed himself to be a 5 year old boy, which actually explains a whole lot. "I just felt it was time," he said while eating a Pop Tart at a recent press conference. "I finally realized that even the smallest of boys can have the biggest dreams, and it's time I started living those. And, I needed to tell Coach McCarthy about this so I could stop skipping nap time at practice. That always makes me cranky." Aaron Rodgers, the Super Bowl winning quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, has faced much adversity as such a young boy. At only 5-years old, he is certainly the youngest person to start an NFL game, at any position, and certainly the youngest player to win a Super Bowl. But none of those things matter as much as being able to escape the shadow of the monster under his bed that was keeping this secret hidden from everyone. "I'm finally able to carry that Dora the Explorer backpack around at training camp and not have everyone assume that I'm a rookie," he mentioned while pushing a Hasbro car back and forth on the training room floor. "I don't have to explain why I'm not married anymore, either. Or who that guy is that lives with me in my apartment in Green Bay. I mean, I'm five! Of course I'm not married. That lady that I've been seen with recently is just my mom, and the guy that lives with me is just my dad. It's no big conspiracy or anything." Teammates were understandably surprised by the news. "I knew I was always the oldest guy on the team," said wide receiver Donald Driver, "but this is outrageous. I'm like 32 years older than him. 32! It's freaky, but not as freaky as the fact that a 5 year old child can grow a pedophile mustache as well as he can. What the hell, right?" To Rodgers, it doesn't matter though. "Finally, I can feel comfortable in my OshKosh B'Gosh overalls," he said as he slid another phone book under his seat on the chair to look our interviewer in the eye. "I'm a man, just like everyone else. The fact that I'm basically a baby maybe makes this all the more impressive. And despite the fact that I feel much better about telling everyone else about it, I just ... I guess I still can't shake this feeling that there are some people out there who may treat me differently now that they know I'm 5. And that bothers me. Maybe I'll just take a nap ... But I'm worried what will happen when I close my eyes ..." *Satire! These people obviously didn't say these things. However, as far as I know that is a real picture of Rodgers as a 5 year old. Not the one with Favre in the background, just the first one ... [follow]
THE BACKYARD
BEST OF MAXIM
RELATED ARTICLES

Days are numbered for Rodgers moustache

GREEN BAY, Wis. -- Don't expect to see Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers still sporting a thick moustache Sunday, on his 29th birthday, when he takes the field to face the Minnesota Vikings. Rodgers, who has been growing a moustache all month to help raise awareness of prostate cancer as part of Movember, plans to shave it as soon as the calendar turns to December. "Today...

Aaron Rodgers Rocked “Blue Steel” Mustache Pose

We love that Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers can get into the spirit of Movember and rock a powerful mustache for the whole world to see when he took on the New York Giants on Sunday Night Football.  What we didn’t expect was for Rodgers to give the viewing audience at home a little taste of Zoolander’s famous Blue Steel. Of course Movember is when you will see men wear awkward...

Packers looking for ways to keep Rodgers upright

For a guy who does his best work in the air, Aaron Rodgers is spending way too much time on the ground. The reigning NFL MVP has been sacked 37 times, more than any other quarterback in the league. He's taken more hits in the first 11 games than he did all of last season (36 sacks), and is on pace to topple the career-high 50 sacks he took in 2009. And the Green Bay Packers...

Pro Bowl: Rodgers Among NFC Position Leaders

Hot News for QB Aaron Rodgers

Packers not using injuries as an excuse

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. Aaron Rodgers and the rest of the Green Bay Packers have heard the comparisons between this season and their run to the Super Bowl title in 2010 in regard to the way the injuries have piled up. Rodgers, the league's highest-rated quarterback this season, has been through this before. The media reminds him of that, but he calls this a "different team...

Humbled Packers Control Fate

The Packers took a beating on Sunday night but their NFC North hopes are firmly within their grasp. "Sometimes it takes a loss" to focus on the areas that need improvement, Aaron Rodgers said.

Packers have timid tendencies under pressure

The Packers have built a sterling record since the start of 2011, but in their losses can be found the key to beating them. See how the Packers’ five losses all have something in common when Aaron Rodgers starts feeling pressure.

Game Preview: Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers

Courtesy of www.rodgersphotobomb.com and www.packers.com Coming off one of their worst regular season losses in recent memories, the Green Bay Packers look to get on track at home against the rival Minnesota Vikings. Fresh off getting trounced 38-10 at the hands of the Giants, Green Bay is in a standard trap game looking for their 8th win. Even with the recent history between the...

Tebow on another list: Top selling NFL jerseys of 2012

From April 1 to Nov. 27, 2012 -- RGIII has the top selling NFL jersey 1. Robert Griffin III -- Redskins 2. Peyton Manning --   Broncos 3. Aaron Rodgers --     Packers 4. Eli... Full story at Bob's Blitz ~ http://www.bobsblitz.com

‘Where’s Waldo’ Appears to Serve as Inspiration for New Line of NFL Headwear (Photos)

Looking to play a quick game of “Where’s Waldo?” during an NFL game this Sunday? Hate to spoil your fun, but it’s not going to take very long to find him. As the winter season is now upon us, the NFL has released its latest line of cold-weather apparel, which features some interesting hats. The knit sideline hats have been distributed to the players and are now for sale on...
Packers News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.