Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 11/13/14
Chris Kluwe has a book coming out on June 23 of this year titled "Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Mythos, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities." Boy, the guy has to be pretty full of himself to name his own book with such a long title AND include alliteration! But the cover for said book was released by Mr. Kluwe himself last week, and of course it looks ravishing. I mean, come on! The pony, the air, the **** eating grin, THE BRAGGING PROMINENCE OF THE STRAIGHT MARRIAGE WEDDING RING! Just kidding. But it looks kind of funny, and the book could be interesting, and of course, if anyone wanted to send me an advance copy to review, I'd totally do that, too. Just throwing that out there. I guess while we're highlighting Kluwe today, we may also go ahead and talk about how the Minnesota Vikings are showing stomach churning signs that they may be getting rid of this peace monger in the near future. If not this year, than definitely next. Kluwe is on the last year of his contract, where he is still due $1.45 Million if he is on the roster after the regular season starts. He's also 31 years old, which makes him essentially ANCIENT as far as football players go, and boy, maybe the management team of the Vikings is getting tired of Kluwe's colorful antics, antics which make the team so much more interesting to follow. Maybe instead, they'd rather have good old boys and blank slates and boring canvases, and holy God, this team is becoming so boring. Also, the Vikings worked out a punter this offseason, a guy from LSU called Brad Wing. Not a terrible name for a punter, if we had to get a new one, but the problem of course is that he would potentially be replacing the immortal Chris Kluwe. And why "try out" a punter if you're not just going to Ryan Longwell Kluwe this offseason? I know the team is going for a youth movement, but come on ... The punter? He barely does anything. I think we have much higher concerns than getting younger at the punter position, guys. Anyway, whether or not Kluwe is cut before this season begins or walks at the end of next season, I am learning to appreciate every moment I have with him as a Viking, like he's already in NFL fan hospice care or something. If that's not a real thing, I should probably copy write that. But regardless of what happens, buy his book, read it, then send me a copy with dick pictures in the margin. Everyone wins! [follow]
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Nate Solder reveals he was diagnosed with testicular cancer

RG3 on Patriots: 'They operate like a high school football team'

AUDIO: Reds skipper Bryan Price drops 77 f-bombs in rant

Monty Williams: Warriors home crowd noise 'out of hand'

LT thinks Philip Rivers won’t play for Chargers in 2015

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Report: Kevin Ollie 'seriously considered' for Thunder job

Floyd Mayweather: I'm a better fighter than Muhammad Ali

Video emerges of Warren Sapp talking about prostitute arrest

Chip Kelly in 2011: Tim Tebow is not our team's QB type

NBA commissioner: Sports gambling is 'good for business'

RG3 'wouldn't be bummed' if Redskins don't pick up option

The Lakers' free agency myth

The Milwaukee Brewers' untimely collapse

Cubs will reportedly call up prospect Addison Russell

Brewers' Scooter Gennett shares photo of nasty shower injury

WATCH: Fan at Pirates game hit by foul ball through netting

Hall of Famer Jim Palmer blasts David Ortiz over ejection

WATCH: President Obama leads 'O-H-I-O' chant

Fred Hoiberg shares video of him walking after heart surgery

DeAndre Jordan geeks out at Batman Exhibit

Philly welcomes Tim Tebow with 'tebowing' pretzel

Marshall Henderson trolls Erin Andrews over Stoll arrest

Steve Ballmer turned Lakers locker room into owner's lounge

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

The Lakers' free agency myth

Mayweather: I'm better than Ali

WATCH: Sapp talks prostitute arrest

Jim Palmer blasts David Ortiz

Wayne Taylor Racing No. 10 car wins at Long Beach

Pat Riley takes shot at LeBron?

Philly welcomes Tim Tebow with 'tebowing' pretzel

Stop the Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady debate

Alex Rodriguez: Heir to the Empire

The Tim Tebow lottery ticket

If Tony Parker's not right, it's going to go wrong for Spurs

So the Mets might be contenders

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.