Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 11/10/14
A5
Welp, wrap up your abacuses and stop tallying votes, people, this year's sexiest man has already been announced by Salon.com yesterday, and of course it's none other than Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe. Kluwe was announced as their "winner" yesterday. Their award is kind of the anti-thesis to the People's Sexiest Man Award (I think that went to C-Tates? Don't ask me how I know these things), where they award not only a sexy ******** like Kluwe, but also someone who is a good person, has strong morals, some impressive gray matter, and is more than just a meat bag of bones. Kluwe certainly fits that bill, as Salon made clear in their interview they did with Kluwe as well. The interview has some solid Kluwe gems as well, including this one about what his wife thinks of him posing shirtless in magazine spreads like OUT, as seen previously on Purple Jesus Diaries. Here's the wife quote: What’s it like suddenly becoming not only a sex symbol, but a sexuality-spanning sex symbol? It’s a little weird because I’m a nerd video game player. It’s a little odd. I’m sure my wife is thrilled, though. Yeah, I was going to ask how she feels about all of this. Well, it’s funny because she’s the one who really wanted me to pose shirtless for the magazine. That was her one request: to do it topless so that she would have the pictures. And she doesn’t care about strangers ogling you? She knows that I’m very committed to her so I think she knows it won’t be a problem. I get the impression that Kluwe's wife can give the snark just a well as she likely receives (that sounds sexual, but that's really not what I meant, for once), and I really imagine the conversation over taking shirtless Kluwe pictures going something more like "Hey honey, I was asked to take these shirtless pictures for OUT Magazine, but I don't think I'm going to do it." And she would respond, "Oh yes you are, you little dick nose. There is no way I'm letting this blackmail opportunity pass me by. NOW TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!!" On the plus side, as you can tell from the picture below that Chris Kluwe posted of him and his wife this last weekend heading to some swanky party to accept the award (or some other one, I forget how these black tie affair things all work), they do look like a happy couple instead of an evil plotting group of spinsters: Do you think Kluwe actually owns that tie, or do you think he borrowed it? I think he probably owns one, but for some reason I think he had to borrow this one. Just a hunch. And dare I say it, but it looks like Kluwe ... Out-kicked his coverage when he found this smiling beauty?! ZINGER! SCORE, ONE, ME! Either way, go check out that interview and congrats to Kluwe. It's been a solid year for him, and this is a nice way to cap it off. NOW GET BACK TO DO PUNTING GOOD!! Haha, just kidding, I clearly don't give a ****. [follow]
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