Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 1/21/13
A5
Here's a futile exercise: Try to name something that Chris Kluwe sucks at doing. Besides tackling, I guess. And maybe throwing a football in a forward motion. And possibly his vertical leap. Then probably some other stuff, but I'm talking like COOL stuff. Name one COOL thing he can't do, like dance or kick **** for charity. You can't name anything, because that's ALL HE DOES. As he showed when Chris Kluwe was on The Ellen Show last Friday. True story. I got home and turned the TV on earlier on Friday afternoon. The Ellen Show is on something like 4:00 PM to 5:00 PM or something here, I think. The station that's it's on (I'm really doing my research here) is one that my wife will usually watch for news in the morning, so when I get home from work, it's the first thing that will pop up. So here I go, flipping on the TV and BOOM! Chris Kluwe is chatting with a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it was just an unexpected development in my afternoon routine, and then it got REALLY COOL. First, Kluwe came out dancing on the show, as guests are want to do for Ellen. Obama probably danced the best, and Kluwe sure tried valiantly, but I'm willing to guess he can cast spells better than he can bust a move. Unless it's Gangnam Style, or busting moves with Brian Robison, obviously. But here he is, slithering his way across the floor to chat with Ellen: I think there was a butt showing, an Irish jig, and then some roof raising going on. I have no idea why all those things happened at once, but they did. Then Kluwe was shown a picture that Ellen apparently has framed for her Hall of Fame of Kluwe kicking a ball. Let's forget the fact that Ellen has her two fingers curiously close to the Photo Kluwe's rectum, and instead admire Kluwe's mimicry of the photo, which isn't good: At least he's been practicing this off-season! In the end, Kluwe also kicked a football through a hoop that was really high up, and got $10,000 for charity. That's a lot of money, and likely more than Donovan McNabb paid for his jersey number: video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player Anyway, enjoy the videos. Here's Kluwe's actually interview with Ellen as well: Big thanks to @Qommie for the GIF captures. [follow]
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: JPP 'severely injured' hand in fireworks mishap

Blatter: European politicians helped Qatar land World Cup

Report: Cavs considering trading for Joe Johnson

Andrew Quarless found hiding in plant after firing gun

Odell Beckham: I don't want to be known only for 'the catch'

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Borland on retirement: Health 'more important' than money

Three NBA teams that improved most early in offseason

Adam Eaton gets 4th of July surprise from brother

Clippers in talks with JaVale McGee, Amar’e Stoudemire

Report: LeBron won't negotiate with Cavs until Thompson is signed

Andrei Kostitsyn interested in return to NHL

2015 All-Star starters announced, featuring four Royals

WATCH: Carli Lloyd scores three goals in 17 minutes

WATCH: Jake Marisnick makes fantastic running catch

WATCH: Carlos Gomez leaves gum, note for Billy Hamilton

Kansas to wear new USA jerseys after request from FIBA

What can the Saints expect from CJ Spiller in 2015?

Isaiah Thomas trolls Kings after Rajon Rondo signing

Kosta Koufos agrees to deal with Kings

Report: Blues in trade talks about Kevin Shattenirk

Report: Gregg Popovich plans to fulfill five-year contract

4-Star LB commits to Kentucky, zings Louisville

Clay Buchholz not worried about trade rumors

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

2015 All-Star starters announced

Carli Lloyd scores 3 goals in 17 mins

JPP injured in fireworks mishap?

Odell Beckham doesn't want to be known for 'the catch'

Russell Wilson 'would definitely consider' playing for Mariners

Solo, Rapinoe among USWNT stars up for World Cup awards

LBS on Sports Jeopardy! Here's how how it went

College football's 35 most patriotic helmets

A brief history of non-star All-Stars

With Love retained, the Cavs can take care of LeBron

Grading the deal: Davis commits to Pelicans

Obama Administration: Change name if Redskins move to D.C.

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.