by WCT, The Ship of Fools
Happy Halloween readers, and if you are a young lady looking for a last minute costume idea, may I suggest "Texas Longhorn Cheerleader." Your welcome!
Welcome to week 10. You know, I'm noticing that the weeks in between Saturdays seem to be getting longer and more unbearable. Its like, we have this all-day orgy of football, literally from noon into the night, and then we have 6 days to ponder what just happened, and think about whats going down the following week. Its like a microcosm for the short regular season, followed by the interminable off-season.
I'm not going to lie to you folks, this week is lacking. Yes, we have Texas-Texas Tech in primetime, and yes, we have the Cocktail Party at 3:30 (good luck finding someone with the balls to still call it that), but other than those two games, its a whole lot of "eh" games featuring big boys beating down nobodys, and nobodys clashing with other nobodys. However, as I have said before, a bad weekend in the football season beats a good weekend in February any day. Plus who the hell knows, often times, its the weeks without marquee games that provide us with the most intriguing drama and upsets.
With all of this in mind, weeks like this make writing a weekly preview that much more difficult. Sure, it easy when you have ranked teams playing each other all over the board. But try making the damn Tulsa vs. Arkansas game sound interesting! That's one of the best games of the week for crying out loud! So be not surprised if this week's installment of the preview features an unusual amount of tangents, sidebars, random musings, puzzling non-sequitors, and other stream-of-consciousness babbling as I do my best to fill space on this fine blog. If that is the type of thing you like to print out and read on the shitter, then by all means do so. Otherwise, consider yourself warned. You might as well go back to searching for porn.
Still reading? Good. Let's get to it!
(all times Eastern)
Northwestern at #17 Minnesota (-6.5) - Noon - This is a battle between a team that everyone was talking about (until they started losing) against a good team that nobody has said a word about. Why is it that when a school is known for being a good academic institution, the experts lose their minds when they win a couple games in a row? Northwestern starts out 5-0 (beating absolutely nobody in the process) and people start talking about them maybe winning the Big Ten. Vanderbilt has a hot start, and Gameday visits, everybody starts patting them on the back. Where are they now? 5-3 and unranked. That brings us to Minnesota, who's only loss of the season was at Ohio State. This Minnesota squad is developing into a team with a good shot to finish tied for second in the Big Ten and go to a very good bowl game. Take the Gophers.
Miami at Virginia (-2) - Noon - The ACC is complete and utter garbage. Want a sure sign of that fact? Virginia, who got their doors blown off at home 52-7 by USC, then was taken behind the woodshed by UConn (45-10) and Duke (31-3) now controls its own destiny to win this conference. What a joke. I'm sorry, but if you suffer three losses by at least 28 points in a single year (and one of them is to Duke) you do not deserve to represent a major conference in a BCS bowl game. That should be a rule.
West Virginia (-4) at #25 UConn - Noon - When the schedule-makers came up with this game, they probably had a pretty good idea that it would feature a ranked team. I'm willing to bet none of them thought that ranked team would be Connecticuit. WVU, who idiots everywhere thought would be in the top 10, is unranked. UConn is ranked, and has done nothing to justify that ranking. They have not played anyone who was ranked when they played, and the only team they have played that has been ranked at any point in the season, UNC, blew them out 38-12. As I have said, I am cheering for the entire Big East to be unranked (thanks, South Florida, for doing your part last night), so I will lay the points and take WVU. Incidentally, this game is listed as being shown on the "Big East Network." If you don't get the Big East Network, call your cable or satellite provider and tell them "goddammit, the Louisville-Syracuse game is coming up soon! I want, nay, need the Big East Network!"
Auburn at Ole Miss (-6) - 12:30pm - Has any team fallen farther, faster that Auburn? More proof that preseason polls aren't worth the paper they're written on, some had the Tigers in the top 10. Now they are almost a touchdown dog against Mississippi, on the heels of a loss to West Virginia. One minute they're competing for national titles, the next minute, they are averaging less than 20 points per game and struggling to stay .500. This program has derailed. Take the Rebs.
#18 Tulsa (-7) at Arkansas - 2:00pm - When good people have success, it makes me happy. When crappy people fail, it makes me even happier. Thats why it has been so fun to watch Bobby Petrino, who turned his back on the Atlanta Falcons in the middle of the year (via a letter in each player's locker, not in person) one year after turning his back on Louisville, fail miserably at Arkasas. Arkansas is complete dogshit, one year after going 8-5, defeating the eventual champions LSU in Baton Rouge, and going to a decent bowl game. This year, they have one conference win (ironically, over a circling-the-drain Auburn team) and have lost 5 of their last 6 games. Now they are a touchdown dog, against a Conference USA team. At home. On the other hand, Tulsa is undefeated, and is turning into a possible BCS team. So far, the Golden Hurricane has (have?) scored 77, 63, 63, 56, and 56 points in wins over lowly competition. Here's hoping they hang half-a-hundred on Bobby Petrino and his Hogs in Fayetteville.
Pittsburgh at Notre Dame (-5.5) - 2:30pm - Okay, so I was wrong about ND going to a BCS game. So sue me. However, I was right in calling the prognosticators morons for including Pitt in their preseason rankings. That ship sailed when they lost to Bowling Green in the opening week. And just when you thought they were getting themselves back on track, a terrible Rutgers team comes in and destroys them. If you bet against Dave Wannstedt long enough, its bound to pay off. Take the Irish.
#8 Florida (-5.5) at #6 Georgia - 3:30pm - Finally, a game we don't have to pretend to care about. Everyone will be beating the subject of the UGA 70-player end zone celebration from last year's Cocktail Party to death from now till kickoff, so just be ready for it. All we have been hearing about is how badly Florida wants to exact revenge for that display. But the thing is, that celebration occurred in the 1st quarter of last year's game. If the Gators were so pissed, why did they allow 5 more touchdowns after that? Don't get me wrong, I think the Gators are going to win, but I don't think a stupid end zone dance from early in the game last year has anything to do with it.
#5 USC vs. Washing...You know what? It doesn't even matter. Just take USC. I don't care how many points you have to lay, or where the game is being played, or matchups or anything. Just take the Trojans over any Pac-10 team from here on out. Let's just move on.
#1 Texas (-5.5) at #7 Texas Tech - 8pm - Who would've thought that the game-of-the-century-of-the-week would be taking place in Lubbock, Texas? Texas is just finishing up their Big 12 gauntlet (they have beaten Oklahoma, Mizzou, and Ok State in consecutive weeks) and Tech is just beginning theirs (they play Ok State and Oklahoma in the next two weeks). Call me old fashioned, but I just can't wrap my head around a team that passes as often as Tech does, and plays the June Jones, Hawaii-style offense being one of the best-of-the-best in the nation. I know that I have been predicting them to falter all year (and I have been wrong all year obviously, because they are undefeated) but I just can't see it. If they beat Texas, they have to move into the top 3, right? If not #1. I can't see a team built around 5 WR sets and 70+ passes per game winning it all. I think this is where they fall. Also, everyone knows Heisman front-runner Colt McCoy, but remember the name of Texas stud WR Jordan Shipley (10 TD catches on the year, TD return vs. Oklahoma. 368 yds in the last 3 games). Get ready for the comparisons to Wes Welker, the talk of his deceptive speed, and all of the talk about how gritty and scrappy he is.
Get wireless AMBER Alerts on your phone.
Original Story:
http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/10/c...
Happy Halloween readers, and if you are a young lady looking for a last minute costume idea, may I suggest "Texas Longhorn Cheerleader." Your welcome!Welcome to week 10. You know, I'm noticing that the weeks in between Saturdays seem to be getting longer and more unbearable. Its like, we have this all-day orgy of football, literally from noon into the night, and then we have 6 days to ponder what just happened, and think about whats going down the following week. Its like a microcosm for the short regular season, followed by the interminable off-season.
I'm not going to lie to you folks, this week is lacking. Yes, we have Texas-Texas Tech in primetime, and yes, we have the Cocktail Party at 3:30 (good luck finding someone with the balls to still call it that), but other than those two games, its a whole lot of "eh" games featuring big boys beating down nobodys, and nobodys clashing with other nobodys. However, as I have said before, a bad weekend in the football season beats a good weekend in February any day. Plus who the hell knows, often times, its the weeks without marquee games that provide us with the most intriguing drama and upsets.
With all of this in mind, weeks like this make writing a weekly preview that much more difficult. Sure, it easy when you have ranked teams playing each other all over the board. But try making the damn Tulsa vs. Arkansas game sound interesting! That's one of the best games of the week for crying out loud! So be not surprised if this week's installment of the preview features an unusual amount of tangents, sidebars, random musings, puzzling non-sequitors, and other stream-of-consciousness babbling as I do my best to fill space on this fine blog. If that is the type of thing you like to print out and read on the shitter, then by all means do so. Otherwise, consider yourself warned. You might as well go back to searching for porn.
Still reading? Good. Let's get to it!
(all times Eastern)
Northwestern at #17 Minnesota (-6.5) - Noon - This is a battle between a team that everyone was talking about (until they started losing) against a good team that nobody has said a word about. Why is it that when a school is known for being a good academic institution, the experts lose their minds when they win a couple games in a row? Northwestern starts out 5-0 (beating absolutely nobody in the process) and people start talking about them maybe winning the Big Ten. Vanderbilt has a hot start, and Gameday visits, everybody starts patting them on the back. Where are they now? 5-3 and unranked. That brings us to Minnesota, who's only loss of the season was at Ohio State. This Minnesota squad is developing into a team with a good shot to finish tied for second in the Big Ten and go to a very good bowl game. Take the Gophers.
Miami at Virginia (-2) - Noon - The ACC is complete and utter garbage. Want a sure sign of that fact? Virginia, who got their doors blown off at home 52-7 by USC, then was taken behind the woodshed by UConn (45-10) and Duke (31-3) now controls its own destiny to win this conference. What a joke. I'm sorry, but if you suffer three losses by at least 28 points in a single year (and one of them is to Duke) you do not deserve to represent a major conference in a BCS bowl game. That should be a rule.
West Virginia (-4) at #25 UConn - Noon - When the schedule-makers came up with this game, they probably had a pretty good idea that it would feature a ranked team. I'm willing to bet none of them thought that ranked team would be Connecticuit. WVU, who idiots everywhere thought would be in the top 10, is unranked. UConn is ranked, and has done nothing to justify that ranking. They have not played anyone who was ranked when they played, and the only team they have played that has been ranked at any point in the season, UNC, blew them out 38-12. As I have said, I am cheering for the entire Big East to be unranked (thanks, South Florida, for doing your part last night), so I will lay the points and take WVU. Incidentally, this game is listed as being shown on the "Big East Network." If you don't get the Big East Network, call your cable or satellite provider and tell them "goddammit, the Louisville-Syracuse game is coming up soon! I want, nay, need the Big East Network!"
Auburn at Ole Miss (-6) - 12:30pm - Has any team fallen farther, faster that Auburn? More proof that preseason polls aren't worth the paper they're written on, some had the Tigers in the top 10. Now they are almost a touchdown dog against Mississippi, on the heels of a loss to West Virginia. One minute they're competing for national titles, the next minute, they are averaging less than 20 points per game and struggling to stay .500. This program has derailed. Take the Rebs.
#18 Tulsa (-7) at Arkansas - 2:00pm - When good people have success, it makes me happy. When crappy people fail, it makes me even happier. Thats why it has been so fun to watch Bobby Petrino, who turned his back on the Atlanta Falcons in the middle of the year (via a letter in each player's locker, not in person) one year after turning his back on Louisville, fail miserably at Arkasas. Arkansas is complete dogshit, one year after going 8-5, defeating the eventual champions LSU in Baton Rouge, and going to a decent bowl game. This year, they have one conference win (ironically, over a circling-the-drain Auburn team) and have lost 5 of their last 6 games. Now they are a touchdown dog, against a Conference USA team. At home. On the other hand, Tulsa is undefeated, and is turning into a possible BCS team. So far, the Golden Hurricane has (have?) scored 77, 63, 63, 56, and 56 points in wins over lowly competition. Here's hoping they hang half-a-hundred on Bobby Petrino and his Hogs in Fayetteville.
Pittsburgh at Notre Dame (-5.5) - 2:30pm - Okay, so I was wrong about ND going to a BCS game. So sue me. However, I was right in calling the prognosticators morons for including Pitt in their preseason rankings. That ship sailed when they lost to Bowling Green in the opening week. And just when you thought they were getting themselves back on track, a terrible Rutgers team comes in and destroys them. If you bet against Dave Wannstedt long enough, its bound to pay off. Take the Irish.
#8 Florida (-5.5) at #6 Georgia - 3:30pm - Finally, a game we don't have to pretend to care about. Everyone will be beating the subject of the UGA 70-player end zone celebration from last year's Cocktail Party to death from now till kickoff, so just be ready for it. All we have been hearing about is how badly Florida wants to exact revenge for that display. But the thing is, that celebration occurred in the 1st quarter of last year's game. If the Gators were so pissed, why did they allow 5 more touchdowns after that? Don't get me wrong, I think the Gators are going to win, but I don't think a stupid end zone dance from early in the game last year has anything to do with it.
#5 USC vs. Washing...You know what? It doesn't even matter. Just take USC. I don't care how many points you have to lay, or where the game is being played, or matchups or anything. Just take the Trojans over any Pac-10 team from here on out. Let's just move on.
#1 Texas (-5.5) at #7 Texas Tech - 8pm - Who would've thought that the game-of-the-century-of-the-week would be taking place in Lubbock, Texas? Texas is just finishing up their Big 12 gauntlet (they have beaten Oklahoma, Mizzou, and Ok State in consecutive weeks) and Tech is just beginning theirs (they play Ok State and Oklahoma in the next two weeks). Call me old fashioned, but I just can't wrap my head around a team that passes as often as Tech does, and plays the June Jones, Hawaii-style offense being one of the best-of-the-best in the nation. I know that I have been predicting them to falter all year (and I have been wrong all year obviously, because they are undefeated) but I just can't see it. If they beat Texas, they have to move into the top 3, right? If not #1. I can't see a team built around 5 WR sets and 70+ passes per game winning it all. I think this is where they fall. Also, everyone knows Heisman front-runner Colt McCoy, but remember the name of Texas stud WR Jordan Shipley (10 TD catches on the year, TD return vs. Oklahoma. 368 yds in the last 3 games). Get ready for the comparisons to Wes Welker, the talk of his deceptive speed, and all of the talk about how gritty and scrappy he is.
Get wireless AMBER Alerts on your phone.
Original Story:
http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/10/c...
