Even Santa Thinks The Bears Suck

Santa Claus could very well have brought an actual quarterback to Lambeau Field for the Chicago Bears' Christmas present this year. Instead they got an adequate one from the recycling bin, who still had a few interceptions left in him. He also could have brought them some defensive backs that don't suck. But he hasn't figured out how to clone Charles Woodson yet. He could have kept their playoff hopes alive. But title hopes in Chicago never live long. Neither does anything else, for that matter, like hope, success, optimism, a smile or things that are good.In fact Santa doesn't even visit Chicago anymore because, as was evident in Christmas Day's NFL match up between the Bears and the Green Bay Packers, the Bears suck; and even Santa knows it. It used to be that Santa stopped going to Illinois because on his way down from the north pole every year, he would have to pass through Wisconsin first. And every year the Cheeseheads, all of whom are armed deer hunters, ...