Found October 23, 2012 on Extra Pine Tar:
After another game in which Cam Newton looked every bit like a second year quarterback who relies too much on his physical gifts, doesn’t have enough weapons and plays in a ****** system for a ****** coach, he decided that one of the ways to fix things would  be to leave a suggestion box out for reporters and writers to add their thoughts on how to best solve the struggling Panthers’ problems. Sadly I can’t just pop down to the godforsaken Carolina’s to drop off my suggestions personally, but hopefully this reaches Cam before he ends up signing memorabilia with Vince Young. Stop throwing off your back foot all the time. I know that your offensive line isn’t the best, but you’re never going to be anywhere close to consistent when your constantly not setting your feet. Sure you’ve got amazing arm strength. Do you know who else did? Jamarcus Russell. And I know that there are quarterbacks in the NFL today who do it all the time, but do you really want to model yourself after Jay Cutler and Matt Stafford? Those aren’t exactly people I’d call “consistent.” Don’t pout on the sidelines. Maybe if you were white, or didn’t have a checkered college career, analysts would say things like “Look how mad at himself Cam Newton is” (well they would probably call you Cameron) or “You can see just by the look on Cameron Newton’s face that he’s not going to let this happen again.” Steve Smith has already talked to you about this, and when he talks people tend to listen, so I don’t think this should be an issue going forward. I just want to drive home the fact that everything you do is under intense scrutiny at all times, especially if you’re having a bad game. I’m not saying you’ve got to flash that million dollar smile all the time, but don’t look like somebody just raped your puppy. All you’re doing is giving people with too much time on their hands, and slightly racist agendas (Colin Cowherd), an excuse to call you a bust after you broke every rookie passing record that ever existed. Get Ron Rivera fired. You’re the face of the franchise so this shouldn’t be a problem for you. I don’t even think it would have to be a public campaign. Simply walk up to the owners office and say “I want this idiot gone.” That should suffice. The rest of the season will suck, and that won’t be much of a chance from now, then next off season you can watch as offensive minded coaches and “molders of men” (Tony Dungy, Jon Gruden) fight for the opportunity to put you and all your gifts at the front of their rebuilding project. Because, lest anyone forget, your team is only a year and a half removed from earning the number one pick straight up and still clearly in a rebuilding phase. Maybe then you won’t have to run the “read option” every play. Tell Ryan Kalil to shut up. Like I just said, the Panthers were able to draft you because the year before they were the WORST team in the NFL. There’s no reason to have expectations be even higher than they already are by proclaiming that your team is going to win the Super Bowl in the local paper. Have the Panthers stop signing running backs. Williams, Stuart, Fat Tolbert; how many do you need? Aren’t you a pretty damn good running back yourself? Why would you need a goal line back (Tolbert) when you’re the best goal line back this side of Tim Tebow? How are those for starters, Cam?
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