I don’t care if that’s the worst title for an article I’ve ever written. Not my chair, not my problem. The AFC Playoff picture was just about done. Except it was more of a mosaic on several different tiles and the tiles had yet to be place next to one another. Basically, the paintings on said tiles were complete but the artist was like, “Nah, chill. I’m finna let these jawns dry ‘fore I put ‘em together ‘n ****. Prolly sit back for a day or two ‘n let ‘em marinate ‘n such. Real art like, ya heard me?” This artist was apparently from the streets of South Philly. Don’t ask why, that just happens to be where mosaics are hot in the streets these days.
Texans Screw Up as Best They Could
You know what’s mighty unfortunate? Going from home field advantage throughout the playoffs to the THREE SEED and having to play an extra postseason game. The Texans traveled to Indianapolis to battle #ChuckStrong and the Colts and they had a real opportunity to get a monkey off of their back. For one, the Texans could have won their first game in Indianapolis EVER, and they failed to do that. A win against a playoff opponent would have also given Houston some piece of mind since the Texans haven’t resembled their first half selves since their mollywhopping in New England. Instead, more questions arose after a loss to the Colts and now many are wondering if Houston will even be able to handle the Bengals at home in the first round. The two positives I can gather for the Texans are that J.J. Watt might have been the most dominant defensive player in the league this season and Andre Johnson is as healthy as he has been in years heading into the playoffs. Other than that, the once stout Texans’ secondary has been suspect most of the season. If they can’t figure it out – quickly, at that – A.J. Green could have himself a day on Sunday.
New England Avoids the Wild Cards; Claim Two Seed as Broncos Roll
Dumb people have Peyton Manning as the MVP. I say they are dumb, because I am not dumb, because I realize what a true MVP is in any era, society, backyard pickup game, the NFL, or debate team. The MVP is the difference maker. The guy who elevates a team to another level in which they would not be capable of without him. That is Adrian Peterson. What did Manning do exactly that Tim Tebow was not able to last season? You want to point to wins? Manning also played five more games. Wasn’t the Broncos’ defense some sort of juggernaut last season? That’s what I was told at least. (Sidenote: I don’t know how many juggernats allow 900 points in two games against the Patriots, but if you want to crown them go right ahead). As of right now, Manning has brought the Broncos to the EXACT SAME SPOT AS TEBOW DID LAST SEASON. More touchdown passes? Great. Wider margin of victory on a weekly basis? Cool. The Vikings had a top five pick last season. If I had a vote, I wouldn’t put Manning ahead of Robert Griffin III or Andrew Luck, either. Nor Aaron Rodgers for that matter. Tom Brady? Sure, I’d put him ahead of Brady. Even if Manning lost to Brady AGAIN in 2012. Serious, when Eli and Peyton get into arguments does Eli just troll Peyton until eventually he pulls the Brady card? Like who cares about rings in that household, they both have more than their father. Either way, Manning played a cupcake schedule against two of the worst divisions in football (AFC West & NFC South). Spare me his MVP praise. They got the one seed and home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Good for him. Until he’s above .500 lifetime in the playoffs, I don’t want to hear it.
Meanwhile the Patriots lucked into a two seed. I can admit that. Sure, they manhandled the Miami Dolphins for four quarters, but no one actually cares about that. The Dolphins never win in Foxboro in February. I actually don’t even know why the NFL keeps scheduling December games for the Dolphins in New England. It’s just an automatic loss on their schedule. If you asked the Dolphins I bet they’d rather start the season with an 0-1 record and start the season in New England than have to travel there every winter. But after the Patriots’ lost to the San Francisco 49ers in what was possibly the game of the regular season, it looked as if 12-4 was only going to be good enough for the three seed. Since the Texans screwed the pooch the Patriots were able to get all-universe tight end Rob Gronkowski an extra week to heal up. Most importantly, the NFL will now likely see Brady and Manning face off in the AFCCG – which, while no one would admit it – is EXACTLY what everyone wants to see. You know it, I know it, we all know it. Anything less than Brady-Manning will be a second rate scenario and that’s Ray Lewis retirement or not.