Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 10/16/14
Remember how Christian Ponder is the quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings? I know, I totally forgot too. Frankly, thinking about the 2012 season seems like it was eons ago. I almost forgot Ponder was on the roster AND considered to be the quarterback of the future, and that's a memory that was only like three months ago. Can you remember that back in like OCTOBER of last year that Christian Ponder had a crazy, unannounced and secret wedding with ESPN reporter Samantha (Ponder) Steele? Because that happened too, and - as you can see from the photo above, which includes Christian Ponder and Samantha Ponder kissing over a donkey apparently - if you didn't actually believed that it happened, we finally have some photos for you. Courtesy of the ever vigilant Big Lead Sports, someone tracked down all of the Ponderer's friends on Instagram and pulled photos from the Ponder wedding. A full collection of mostly mundane photos of people celebrating are over on their site, but here are some of our favorites: CUTE!! Samantha looks stunning in her elegant white dress, while our favorite quarterback is ... Is ... Is he slouching? Is he up there saying his devotions with a hand in his pocket and SLOUCHING?! Come on, Ponder! What kind of wedding posture is that! You think Peterson would let you get away with that aloofness in the huddle?! Of course not. I doubt Samantha was very happy about it either! On the other hand, nice looking suit. Tres chic! Aaaaaaannnddddd the dress comes off. Kind of. Apparently there was a reception cowboy theme, likely from Samantha's request as she was born in Phoenix, Arizona and currently lives in Austin, Texas. You get the boots, short dress, some GOD DAMN AMERICAN FIREWORKS!!!!, and probably some line dancing. Is that was Texas people do at weddings? Is there like a tradition line dance song as opposed to just doing the Chicken Dance? I have no idea. And finally, we have a shot of the wedding cake. As you can see, it was a beautiful Minnesota Vikings helmet and Ponder jersey, a Florida State football, and an ESPN sideline reporting microphone to capture all sides of the happy couple. Unfortunately, most of this looks like that heavy layer of Swedish sugar that makes me poop a lot, so I probably couldn't have eaten much of it. Of course, I wasn't invited to the wedding anyway (weird, right?!) so it doesn't matter. Either way, check out the rest of the photos over at Big Lead Sports, and keep wishing the Ponders a happy marriage. Good for them. Modern Love is a son of a ***** sometimes, right David Bowie? [follow]
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