Originally posted on The Onion  |  Last updated 11/5/11

CINCINNATI - DECEMBER 28: Head coach Marvin Lewis of the Cincinnati Bengals watches the action during the NFL game against the Kansas City Chiefs on December 28, 2008 at Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
CINCINNATI—Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis was immediately placed on suicide watch by city authorities after achieving his franchise-record 65th victory with the team last Sunday.
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The '303 yards and a cloud of dust' quiz

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