Originally written on Total Sports Blog  |  Last updated 11/20/14
Ray Lewis will be doing his final dance next Sunday at the Super Bowl in New Orleans. But there are some places I don’t think he should be visiting. Follow @ttlsportsblog on Twitter The two main story lines for the upcoming Super Bowl are going to be shoved down your throat so hard, that you are going to need a skill-crane lowered down your esophagus to dislodge them.  If they can’t be removed the way they went in, The “Harbowl” and Ray Lewis are going to set your hemorrhoids on fire on the way out.  There’s no tub of Preparation-H big enough to smear on your anus to put that fire out. I think we’re going to need a bigger tube.   Personally, I couldn’t give my left testicle about how Jim used to put snot in John’s socks when they were kids, and that John’s favorite thing to do with his brother as a kid was to play tag.  Just get to the damn game and I could do without the fluff.  But on the other hand  I care about the Ray Lewis story so much more.  The guy’s story is just amaz
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Seahawks could wait to address Russell Wilson's contract

Report: SMU football to hire Clemson offensive coordinator

Dez Bryant: Eagles were ‘kinda cheap’

Hockey goalie rushes into stands to perform CPR on fan

49ers CEO Jed York apologizes for unacceptable performance

Family searching for missing Ohio State football player

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

CM Punk opens up about leaving WWE, says he'll never return

Manny Pacquiao responds to Floyd Mayweather diss

Australian cricket player dies from head injuries

Wrigley Field bleacher renovation may be delayed

Yankees wanted Rollins but Phillies' price was too high

Pop misses game for medical reasons; Messina takes over

Five bold predictions for Week 13 in the NFL

Brady Quinn pens 'note' to Jets quarterback Geno Smith

Bills center Eric Wood gained 7.4 pounds at Thanksgiving

Cubs reliever somehow OK after being involved in awful accident

Seahawks players throw shade at 49ers after victory

Five takeaways from NFL's Thanksgiving Day action

Things to be thankful for in the NBA this season

Eric Berry sends out Thanksgiving message

WATCH: Ronda Rousey talks about Eminem referencing her

WATCH: Dwayne Harris dirty hit on Nolan Carroll sparks fight

Steelers turned down chance to be called 'America's Team'

Report: Small chance Raiders-Rams could be moved to Indy

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

5 NFL takeaways from Thanksgiving

WATCH: Ronda Rousey talks Eminem

CM Punk opens up about leaving WWE

Wrigley renovation may be delayed

Steelers could have been America's Team

John Beilein upset with ESPN

Should Washington move on from RG3?

Dominic Raiola fined for cheap shots

Rose leaves with injury again

WATCH: Pierce signs for fan during game

Report: McCoy to start over RG3

Braxton Miller headed to Oregon?

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.