Protest Beard

I feel like this could catch on. The "livestrong bracelet" for 2008. Except this is actually for an important cause people care about. Two New York teams have made devastating personnel moves. This and and especially this.

First on the Knicks. Take a gander at their draft history. It makes me want to gnaw the scalp off of every child Brangelina adopts. The untrained eye might fail to see the putrid attempt at foreign scouting this team has done. Maciej Lampe? Slavko Vranes? Oh don't forget about this bag o'douche. Referred to in French as "le dunk de morte" it translates to "tell me how my balls taste, Frederick." Now, the Knicks once again tried their hands at plucking players over international waters and all I really wanted was Eric Gordon. But, you know, Danillo had "a great two day workout" which should obviously supplant the season by one of the best players in college this year.

A week before that, the Giants waived Jared Lorenzen, aka J-Load, Pillsbury Throwboy, Hefty Lefty, etc. Sure the Giants were rivaling the quarterback fetish of Gruden in Tampa with Eli, Lorenzen, Anthony Wright, David Carr, and Andr? Woodson on the roster, but why the guy who came out 13lbs 3 oz (I shart you not). Yes, it would have been catastrophic if Eli's injury after week 3 actually was serious and the 285lb southpaw was handed the reigns to Big Blue. But I feel that giving David Carr the backup spot is like giving Nick Hogan the keys to your John Deere. It may not seem like a big deal, but somehow you know something really bad could happen.

As I eluded to in the beginning, I am trying to start a worthwhile cause to demonstrate just analogous the roster moves by these teams feels. Well, it kinda feels like this. But now I introduce Protest Beard.



Now first, you may be asking... Hype, what qualifies as a beard? I feel that a beard is in fact a "beard" when you could put on K-Swiss and a sweatshirt from some East Coast vacation spot enscribed on it and pass for homeless. I don't expect Protest Beard to catch on, but then again, did Reagan really expect the wall to fall down that quick? So for the next week, month, or year... put down the Mach 5 and the tea-oil based face lotion. Accept the fact that girls won't talk to you. And grow a Protest Beard. Bye Jared. See you in hell you round mound of touchdown...