Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 11/19/14
I know, I know. Halloween was LAST week, you moron, why are we still talking about Minnesota Vikings players dressing up in costume? Well, it's because Kyle Rudolph, Chad Greenway, and John Sullivan are all wearing ballerina outfits, that's why. Listen, understand one thing around here. If a Vikings player is shirtless, that's some breaking news. If a Vikings player is in a LEOTARD?!! Servers shut down. The Earth stops spinning. Water turns to wine which turns to pee because I drink a lot of it. In other words, this is a big deal, folks! The picture in question comes from @jordannine, who I believe is the young lass tight end Kyle Rudolph is dating. Her Twitter profile is spattered with Notre Dame garbage, so the connection writes itself. In the picture, I think she's the one on the far left. On the far right is another fine young lady who knows how to decorate for Christmas in Ashley Tarutis, John Sullivan's girlfriend/fiance/wife/ballandchain. I would be interested in hearing how she pronounces her last name. Is it "Tar-oo-tis?" "Tah-root-is?" Taroo-tis?" I be perplexed. I don't know for sure then either, but I would assume the shortest girl in the middle is Chad Greenway's wife. I think they own a tiny dog together. And have kids and stuff. The dog fact is funny to me. Big linebacker with a tiny dog. You know how it goes. When all is said and done though, I can objectively say that all three of them look COMMANDINGLY better in a leotard than their male counterparts do. Of the Vikings players, I would say Kyle Rudolph pulls a bit of an upset here though, as he really can fill out a Lycra, and actually is displaying some solid dance form. Chad Greenway is really going for his Mikhail Baryshnikov look as he tries to get all stoic on people. Sullivan? That little scamp is just so full of heart! He really tried, didn't he? I suppose the real question to all of this is ... WHY. Did these three really show up to the team party the Monday night before Halloween like this with their ladies? Or was this just a random night of dress up? Are these Vikings players actually secret tiny dancers when the games are over? I didn't bother to research too much into this because my internet browsing history was about to get all weird, but if anyone knows the answer, feel free to chime in. In the meantime, everyone else just needs to remember that no matter how "cute" or "adorbs" you may think it is for three grown ass men to dress in revealing leotards, nothing tops Adrian Peterson barely having to dress up for his Hulk costume this year. TOTAL SPADES, BUDDY. [follow]
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Clint Trickett retires due to concussions, hid two

Drew Stanton likely out for the year, postseason included

Byron Scott: ‘Idiots’ think Lakers are better team without Kobe

Undrafted QB Connor Shaw to sign with Browns, likely start

Report: Alex Smith out Week 17 with lacerated spleen

Belichick: Garoppolo has better understanding of NFL

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Lionel Hollins: 'Honored and blessed to coach Kevin Garnett'

Curt Schilling gives Johnny Manziel advice on Twitter

The last time the Lions won in Green Bay

Carmelo Anthony: The Knicks are dying

Andre Johnson willing to take pay cut with Texans?

Mets star David Wright reaches out to sons of slain NYPD officer

Video: Rudy Gay tosses half-court alley-oop to McLemore

WATCH: Craig Sager is touched by outpouring of support during leukemia fight

Hiroki Kuroda returns to Japan, ditches Yankees

Kevin Garnett: ‘Very weird’ to see Celtics without Rajon Rondo

Report: New Jersey Devils fire head coach Peter DeBoer

Mark Richt confirms Todd Gurley will leave UGA for NFL

Frank Gore: Colin Kaepernick is 'not broke'

The story of Morgan Bulkeley and birth of National League

Five breakout stars in 2014

The 2014 NFL All-Help Offense

Five things the world learned about the NBA on Christmas

What if Bear Bryant coached in the NFL?

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Five breakout stars in 2014

The 2014 NFL All-Help Offense

Five things learned about NBA on X-Mas

What if Bear Bryant coached in the NFL?

Carmelo Anthony: The Knicks are dying

The last time the Lions won in Green Bay

Year's most notable sports media stories

'Roberto Gronkowski wishes fans Feliz Navidad

Are the Seahawks back on track?

Wright reaches out to slain officer's sons

Q&A with Rich Eisen; TNF, DirecTV and living in LA

Dan Le Batard sums up Miami's relationship with LeBron

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.