Originally posted on FOX Sports  |  By By Tully Corcoran  |  Last updated 9/3/13
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Dearest Russia, We weren't going to say anything, because it just seemed so silly to bring it all up again. It's just that, Russia, we believe you have one of our most precious football-related pieces of jewelry , and we would like to have it back. To underscore how serious we are in this request, we turn to one of our finest men, Senator John McCain: Look, we're not trying to make a big deal out of this, but Patriots owner Robert Kraft would really just like his ring back. He's a busy man and he would come get it himself, but we figured why should he take time out of his schedule to get his Super Bowl ring back when we figured we'd be seeing you anyway? We know you've said that the ring was actually a gift given to President Vladimir Putin by Mr. Kraft himself , and we also acknowledge that your country has offered to give a sympathy present to the Pats owner, too, but fair is fair, right? So if we could just have the ring, now, we'll be on our way. Sincerely, America
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