Originally written on Next Impulse Sports  |  Last updated 11/19/14
2010-sports-illustrated

“Hi, my name is Mike and I’m a New York Jets fan. I fell off the wagon a long time ago, actually I was born “off the wagon” and didn’t realize the power it has held over me for some time. I recently completed my 12 step-program and am thinking I have found a spiritual awakening, or at least have come to terms with my terrible addiction. Here is my grueling path…”

  • Step 1I admit I am powerless over my addiction.

Off-season acquisitions and pre-season Rex speeches have turned me into a mindless drone convincing myself that I will see a Jets Super Bowl victory in my lifetime. I really believe it to happen despite what Peter King and the rest of the Sports Illustrated crew says…every year, I’m a Jets believer.

  • Step 2I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.

His name was Tim Tebow. He could hold the keys to post-season eternal bliss; if he were able to take more than 3 snaps a game.

  • Step 3I made a decision to turn my will and my sports dreams & life over to the care of Rex Ryan, as I understood he would lead us to the Promised Land.

However, his personal quest against the cheeseburger has bettered himself, it has done nothing in terms of pre-game motivating conversations to 53 obviously deflated & battered down football players.

  •  Step 4I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

“Do I need the big green ground and pound machine?” In the words of Sonny from A Bronx Tale, “if your dad needs money, go ask Darrelle Revis. See what happens. Darrelle Revis doesn’t care about you, so why should you care about him.”

He may not pay my rent, but he does provide a much-needed boost to our only claim to a winning season – a strong secondary. I’ll stick with them until he blows out his knee or something…oh wait…dang it Step 4!!

  •  Step 5I admit to myself and to other human beings the exact nature of my wrongs.

I chat publicly about Ken O’Brien and Al Toon, sport an old Curtis Martin jersey at the bar down the street from me and curse ever liking Keyshawn Johnson, …what more do I need to do?

  •  Step 6I am entirely ready to have faith to remove all these defects of character.

I’ve convinced myself long enough that it’s OK to be a Jets fan. It’s time to deal with my self-inflicting pain and realize that I have wronged others in my choice for a pro football team, but more importantly, myself.

  •  Step 7I humbly asked God to remove my shortcomings.

Humbly…I’m flat out begging him to release me of my overdue belief that Tim Tebow is going to turn it all around, that he’d come in on 3 and 7, and for once throw a pass to someone whom could catch the ball. Everyone knows he’s there to run the ball. Mr. Sparano…you’re supposed to trick the defense. Oh, wait, this is about me, sorry.

  •  Step 8I made a list of all persons I have harmed, and am willing to make amends to them all.
  1.                         Woody Johnson
  2.                         Mike Tannenbaum
  3.                         Rex Ryan
  4.                         Chad Pennington
  5.                         Vinny Testaverde
  6.                         Eric Mangini

                        …that should suffice for my first go-around

  •  Step 9I made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others 

I’m sorry Step 9; I’m just not there yet. If I met Mike Tannenbaum in an alley, I am not sure what my reaction would be.

  • Step 10I continue to take personal inventory and when I am wrong promptly admit it.

Every Sunday I admit it after I throw some of my personal inventory out of my 2nd floor apartment window into the East Village. Why couldn’t my dad have been a Giants fan?

  • Step 11I seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

Tim, if I was Tony Sparano, I’d let you hike the ball every down…or better yet, let you line up like a sideways i-formation Knute Rockne style and hike it to you, Joe McKnight or Jeremy Kerly…at least I know something interesting would happen.

  • Step 12I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps; I’ve tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all of my affairs.

“Step 1 – admit that you’re a Jets addict.”

@mikeorsini

Article found on: Cosby Sweaters

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Floyd Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao close to deal for fight

TJ Lang: Suh wanted to fight me after stepping on Aaron Rodgers

Aaron Hernandez jurors allowed to watch Super Bowl

Tiger misses cut: ‘I’m only doing this so I won’t get fined’

Roger Goodell grilled on Deflategate during presser

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Rex Ryan: Seahawks need to ‘take the air out of the football’

J.J. Watt buys cabin in the middle of nowhere to train

Six teams have done background work on Peterson

NBA set to earn $700M through streaming deal in China

Wade Phillips is the best coordinator hire this offseason

Bill Belichick gives understated scouting report of Tom Brady

WATCH: Jimmy Butler throws down half-court alley-oop

President Obama zings Patriots over Deflate-gate

Each major conference's Player Of The Year candidates

Super Bowl XLIX preview and predictions: Patriots-Seahawks

49 Stops to Super Bowl XLIX

Most unexpected MLB free agent signings of past 10 years

Five most villainous Super Bowls of all time

Super Bowl ad focuses on acceptance of gay athletes

Foster says UT boosters paid him $40-50K while in college

Ranking the repeat Super Bowl champions

Eric Decker to Sherman: Time your conception a little better

Could Katy Perry and Russell Wilson be dating?

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Obama zings Pats over Deflate-gate

Each major conference's POY candidates

Super Bowl XLIX preview and predictions: Patriots vs. Seahawks

The 13 things we want to see in Super Bowl XLIX

49 Stops to Super Bowl XLIX

Tiger Woods, misses cut: ‘I’m only doing this so I won’t get fined’

Ranking the repeat SB champions

Roger Goodell grilled on Deflategate

Katy Perry, Russell Wilson dating?

Rex Ryan has advice for Seahawks

Super Bowl: Things you can't control

LeBron and the Cavs are ready to make a run

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.