Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 11/12/14


As someone who has grown up in the generation of Conan O'Brien apologists, this joke rings particularly true for me. Last week, Conan did shows in Chicago, home of those inbred meat heads who have ****** pizza. Being all topical and stuff, he brought out one of his favorite show acts in the Masturbating Bear. Classic character, classic joke, right?

Well, this time, Conan "jerked" us around a bit with a new type of Bear. Video after the jump:



That's right, it's literally a Masturbating Bear, rather, a Chicago Bear. And it is wonderfully foul.

If my eyes are correct, it looks like that guy is wearing a jock strap, but also a jersey number 31, which - according to the Bears official roster page - means it's rookie cornerback out of Nevada, Isaiah Frey. However, for some reason I don't think that's the same guy. I could always be wrong though, and genuinely hope I am. Really, it kind of looks more like Urlacher, which is totally more believable. Or Cutler, because sex with a pregnant chick in Cavallari? Ehh ...

Either way, a day when you can make a joke about masturbating is a good day! And screw you, Chicago! You're overrated!

(via KSK)

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