The morning after the Mansion

The Playboy Mansion. Where to start. How about with Crystal, the woman sporting nothing but a painted Yardbarker logo. Or with Hef himself, who spent a few minutes with the Yard. My favorite part about Hef was either the boring khaki pants or his entry-level white Reeboks. I guess when you've spent the better part of six decades surrounded by bunny talent, you grow comfortable with the fact that you don't have to wear overpriced Ed Hardy t-shirts to impress the girls. I can't wait to be 80. It sounds awesome. Chuck Liddell, Shawne Merriman and the talent from "The Girls Next Door" were also there. We didn't get a chance to speak with Merriman because he was late for the fight, which featured his uncle, who apparently is four years younger than him. Yep. Uncle. Four years younger. (FAST-FORWARD TO NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT BOXING.) Merriman's uncle is Henry "Sugar Poo" Buchanan, and his fight was the fight of the night. He came to the ring with a playground style. Winking, nodding, flashing his grin between rounds. You could tell Sugar Poo was having fun out there, despite the fact that he took plenty of nasty shots from the eventual loser, Brian Norman. Julio "Kidd" Diaz dominated his undefeated opponent in the main event. The fight was stopped when David Torres could no longer open his eyes, which was a real shame for him considering the scenery. But enough about boxing. The Yard visited the infamous grotto, Hugh's private game room, the "Boom Boom" room, the Mansion's zoo and tennis courts, and also the backyard, which featured peacocks roaming freely by the pool. I half-convinced myself that at some point we would see a partygoer attacked by a wild peacock. They make frightening noises that are entirely out of place at a sporting event. Unfortunately it didn't happen; however, not all was lost... did I mention that Crystal was wearing nothing but a Yardbarker logo? - Dewey