Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 11/20/14
This is Mark Swanson. I'll bet his friends called him "Swanny" in high school. Or Marky. Or ... Well, he's allegedly 39 years old, so maybe he's young enough to have gone by Marky Mark? I don't know. Either way, he's a Minnesota Vikings fan who recently attended a Vikings/Packers game at Lambeau field. In retrospect, he probably wishes he wouldn't have gone, because all he got out of it was a bunch of money lost, the "entertainment" of watching Christian Ponder throw for 100 yards, and another sad Vikings loss. Oh, and he was eventually arrested for beating the **** out of a Packers fan after the game. In a purple sombrero. Inconspicuous! Several media outlets have been following this story, which isn't much of a story, but is KIND of a story, because Mr. Swanson decked some Packer nerd all while wearing a purple sombrero, which is pretty noteworthy, I'd like to point out. Deadspin has followed it most closely, since the story started leaking out after the game and more recently as they tracked down the mug shot and also provided us with some interested ass-kicking NFC North statistics, also view the hillbilly newspaper Press-Gazette: From 2005 to 2011, police reported averages of 10.3 arrests and 40 ejections when the Packers play the Vikings at home during the regular season, compared with 14 arrests and 33.7 ejections when the Bears visit. Police reported much lower averages of 5.1 arrests and 17.1 ejections for Lions games. The Bears and Vikings numbers are much higher than the average of 5.5 arrests and 18.4 ejections police reported when the Packers played nondivisional opponents during regular-season home games from 2005 to 2011. Those aren't bad numbers, but clearly inferior to Bears fans idiotic behavior. Deadspin is also quick to point out that only FOUR arrests were made on Sunday, which means that people were unusually well behaved, and probably that the Vikings suck this year and aren't worth fighting over. Our man Mark Swanson though was just trying to meet that quota, so can we really blame him? ... Probably. But it's also probably safe to say that everyone involved in this "altercation" had it coming to them in some form or another, as they all made a conscious decision to appear in Wisconsin. No one wins in that decision. [follow]
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