Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 11/12/14
Minnesoa_vikings_v_b3d8




My lord, if I could make shirts this smart, I'd have like $37, EASILY.



Rather, these are t-shirts sold by Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe that feature the now-famous descriptives of "Beautifully Unique Sparklepony" and "Lustful Cockmonster." I but Dong Monster in the headlines because I didn't want to get anyone in trouble at work today. I'm kind like that.



Kluwe is selling these items to support people voting NO on the Minnesota Marriage Amendment proposed this fall. I'm not a policy advocate or anything, but my understanding means that if you vote no, you're actually voting yes in favor of gay marriage. Politics are complicated like that, and probably why I wouldn't do very well in them. I mean, if you can't just call everyone a dick nose, vagina cake, or choad god, then how are you suppose to solve any arguments? I know talking doesn't work with Packer fans, but these types of phrases do, really well.



Close ups of the logos after the jump:








Tasteful, classic in style, and supporting a positive cause. Good for you Kluwe! I mean, I would have put them in purple and grey myself, but I'm sure there is some political reason to do the blue on black. It's just not GAY enough though, you know? Maybe some ACTUAL ponies, or ACTUAL **** monsters. Those would be terrifying, I'm sure.Maybe you could even have done a t-shirt like the mock up I've done below. Does it include shirtless Vikings? You bet your ass:





I pretended my shirt would be extra short so it could show off a little midriff, too. Simple design, right? It's like one of those tuxedo t-shirts, but instead you look shirtless with rippling muscles. INGENIOUS! You're welcome, Wall Street. I just figured out how to boost the economy back to record levels.



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