Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 11/12/14
Minnesoa_vikings_v_b3d8




My lord, if I could make shirts this smart, I'd have like $37, EASILY.



Rather, these are t-shirts sold by Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe that feature the now-famous descriptives of "Beautifully Unique Sparklepony" and "Lustful Cockmonster." I but Dong Monster in the headlines because I didn't want to get anyone in trouble at work today. I'm kind like that.



Kluwe is selling these items to support people voting NO on the Minnesota Marriage Amendment proposed this fall. I'm not a policy advocate or anything, but my understanding means that if you vote no, you're actually voting yes in favor of gay marriage. Politics are complicated like that, and probably why I wouldn't do very well in them. I mean, if you can't just call everyone a dick nose, vagina cake, or choad god, then how are you suppose to solve any arguments? I know talking doesn't work with Packer fans, but these types of phrases do, really well.



Close ups of the logos after the jump:








Tasteful, classic in style, and supporting a positive cause. Good for you Kluwe! I mean, I would have put them in purple and grey myself, but I'm sure there is some political reason to do the blue on black. It's just not GAY enough though, you know? Maybe some ACTUAL ponies, or ACTUAL **** monsters. Those would be terrifying, I'm sure.Maybe you could even have done a t-shirt like the mock up I've done below. Does it include shirtless Vikings? You bet your ass:





I pretended my shirt would be extra short so it could show off a little midriff, too. Simple design, right? It's like one of those tuxedo t-shirts, but instead you look shirtless with rippling muscles. INGENIOUS! You're welcome, Wall Street. I just figured out how to boost the economy back to record levels.



[follow]

MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Chargers keep playoff hopes alive with comeback win

Robin Lopez responds to Khloe Kardashian dating rumors

Report: Jermaine O'Neal 'intrigued' about joining Mavs

Report: Robert Griffin III likely to return to Redskins

Izzo criticizes coaches, players after embarrassing loss

Report: Kings, Nets talking Deron Williams trade

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Is Rampage Jackson heading back to the UFC?

WATCH: DeSean Jackson mocks Eagles after win

Michael Vick: Jameis Winston is the future of the NFL

Report: No NFL team is moving to Los Angeles in 2015

Report: 49ers looking for young, offensive mind as next coach

Sheldon Richardson: I'm on the same level as JJ Watt

Dan Mullen wears funny 'Christmas Vacation' sweater

WATCH: Redskins FB gets in Eagles fan's face after TD

WATCH: Utah runs trick play on first offensive play of game

Mick Cronin misses game with unruptured aneurysm

Steve Alford: Kentucky is best team I've coached against

Peyton Siva jokes that Rick Pitino is in the mob

WATCH: Montrezl Harrell ejected for throwing punch

UNC wearing Jordan-era throwback uniforms

Brian Kelly: Justin Brent gets 'distracted,' is in my doghouse

Five free agent signings that should happen in 2015

Reporter asks Rajon Rondo awkward question about trade

Video: Swaggy P elbows Steven Adams in throat, gets ejected

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Mullen wears funny Christmas sweater

RG3 returning to Redskins?

Tom Izzo hot after bad loss

Kings, Nets talking Deron Williams trade

WATCH: DeSean mocks Eagles

Vick: Winston is the future of the NFL

No NFL team in LA next season?

UNC rocking Jordan-era throwbacks

Reporter asks Rondo awkward question

Three quarterbacks who could be traded this offseason

Jon Lester and the Cubs

Report: NFL players used 'horny juice'

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.