Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 11/12/14
Minnesoa_vikings_v_b3d8




My lord, if I could make shirts this smart, I'd have like $37, EASILY.



Rather, these are t-shirts sold by Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe that feature the now-famous descriptives of "Beautifully Unique Sparklepony" and "Lustful Cockmonster." I but Dong Monster in the headlines because I didn't want to get anyone in trouble at work today. I'm kind like that.



Kluwe is selling these items to support people voting NO on the Minnesota Marriage Amendment proposed this fall. I'm not a policy advocate or anything, but my understanding means that if you vote no, you're actually voting yes in favor of gay marriage. Politics are complicated like that, and probably why I wouldn't do very well in them. I mean, if you can't just call everyone a dick nose, vagina cake, or choad god, then how are you suppose to solve any arguments? I know talking doesn't work with Packer fans, but these types of phrases do, really well.



Close ups of the logos after the jump:








Tasteful, classic in style, and supporting a positive cause. Good for you Kluwe! I mean, I would have put them in purple and grey myself, but I'm sure there is some political reason to do the blue on black. It's just not GAY enough though, you know? Maybe some ACTUAL ponies, or ACTUAL **** monsters. Those would be terrifying, I'm sure.Maybe you could even have done a t-shirt like the mock up I've done below. Does it include shirtless Vikings? You bet your ass:





I pretended my shirt would be extra short so it could show off a little midriff, too. Simple design, right? It's like one of those tuxedo t-shirts, but instead you look shirtless with rippling muscles. INGENIOUS! You're welcome, Wall Street. I just figured out how to boost the economy back to record levels.



[follow]

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Wizards apologize for odd Black History Month tribute

Report: McCoy may want more money from Bills

Andre Johnson laughed upon hearing he wouldn't start

Brad Stevens: LeBron 'looks like the MVP to me'

Le'Veon Bell tees off on Mel Kiper Jr. over Twitter

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Eagles ship LeSean McCoy to Bills for Kiko Alonso

Murray would reportedly give Cowboys hometown discount

Report: Giants ‘considering a run’ at Ndamukong Suh

Darnell Dockett reportedly visiting 49ers on Tuesday

David West on Brian Shaw being fired: ‘That’s bulls–t'

Hamels trade talk motivating Red Sox pitching staff

Columbus Zoo names newborn penguin after Ezekiel Elliott

Matt Barnes blasts NBA over James Harden suspension

Joe Rogan: Ronda Rousey could beat half the men

Bills tell C.J. Spiller he won't be re-signed

Ohio State self-reported funny NCAA violation

Lupul, Phaneuf, Cuthbert threaten lawsuit against TSN

Report: Adrian Peterson has trade list of five preferred teams

Murphy disagrees with Billy Bean’s homosexual 'lifestyle'

Trent Cole has ‘no respect’ for Eagles after release from team

Ronda Rousey lands free ticket to Pacquiao-Mayweather bout

Report: Celtics to pursue Love, Monroe and Gasol this summer

Trying to solve the Alex Guerrero problem

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Stevens: LeBron looks like the MVP

Spiller: EJ Manuel learned not to be 'buddy buddy' with everyone

Ten most underrated NFL free agents

Five potential landing spots for Andre Johnson

Texas-Baylor fight leads to 7 ejections

Mark Cuban will be Prez in 'Sharknado 3'

Report: Redskins interested in Suh

Report: Revis likely to hit free agency

Steve Spurrier joins Twitter

MJ makes Forbes billionaire list

Nick Young fires back at Robert Flores

Sad LeBron literally looks in mirror after loss to Rockets

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.