Originally written on The Slanch Report  |  Last updated 11/16/14


The Washington Redskins cheerleaders, the First Ladies, are celebrating their 50th year in existence this upcoming season (although strangely no one has remained on the squad for the entire time) and as part of the final selection process for the team, the Redskins made the final auditions public (and sold tickets because hey, they aren't a charity—and SOMEONE has to pay the fines the team wracked up for salary cap violations...)

The final auditions featured such classic cheerleading requirements like, performing a dance in evening wear, and that most challenging of all cheerleader moves, holding a football while standing in a bikini. 

Fortunately, they seemed to have a bevvy of attractive women to choose from and the final selections include women who are "Ph.D candidates, assistant principals, triple majors in college, as well as owners of their own companies," so that's something!


That said (unless you're a family member of one of the women competing) if you paid any money to attend the final auditions, please, for the good of society, get yourself sterilized. You should not be allowed to reproduce. By all means continue your subscription to Maxim and remain following Sarah Underwood on Twitter, but please understand that she is NOT talking directly to you, no attractive woman (or any woman really) is ever going to be interested in you and you are a danger to the gene pool. 

[DC Sports Blog] 
 
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