Originally written on StraitPinkie.com  |  Last updated 10/28/14

NEW JERSEY - NOVEMBER 11, 2007: Jared Lorenzen #13 of the New York Giants high fives his teammates during the NFL game against the Dallas Cowboys at Giants Stadium on November 11, 2007 in Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)
He weighs over 300 pounds. He’s been Kentucky’s Mr. Football, an MVP, and a Commissioner. Some have even wondered if his stomach has its own gravitational pull. He’s the most interesting man that ever threw a pass for Rich Brooks. He is Jared Lorenzen. We don’t know if he drinks Dos Equis, but less than a decade ago, Lorenzen cemented himself as a Kentucky legend. In high school, at Highlands, he lettered in the three major sports and earned the title of Mr. Football, caught the eye of then coach Hal Mumme, and became a Kentucky Wildcat. In college, his strong arm and excessive girth earned him many nicknames, including “The Hefty Lefty”, “Pillsbury Throwboy”, and “Qbese”. What many people tend to forget is that his strong arm also earned him some successful seasons as the Wildcats’ signal-caller. In 2002, Lorenzen had his best statistical season, throwing for 24 TD and only 5 INT, culminating in a solid QB rating of 135.4 and a winning record for the Cats. Though the team was in its punishment phase following the Mumme regime, Lorenzen made Kentucky football fun to watch for his four years. He was fat, yes, but also beloved by the fans. When he wasn’t making players from Middle Tennessee State regret picking a fight with him, he was making defensive backs regret underestimating his ability to throw the rock. Lorenzen, not to be outdone by the likes of Tebow and Cam Newton, was also a very versatile quarterback in the vaunted SEC. After all, he did have six career punts –what a hybrid! After leaving Kentucky, though, Lorenzen quickly faded into obscurity. His brief stint as Eli Manning’s back-up in New York did give him a championship ring, but he finished his NFL career with less than stellar stats. Lorenzen retired with eight career passes, completing four of them for 28 yards, and scoring a total of one fantasy point. He didn’t even get to punt. Excepting those who follow Kentucky alumni with a fierce eye, most forgot about Jared Lorenzen for a while. Occasionally, he would rise as the butt of an analyst’s joke, but few knew where Lorenzen had truly gone beyond the NFL. It turns out he’s been busy doing what he loves most –football. Since leaving the NFL, Jared Lorenzen has become a staple of the NFL’s favorite third-cousin –the Ultimate Indoor Football League (UIFL). His rise in the UIFL has to be an unprecedented journey in pro sports. Within the scope of a single year, he was the MVP of the league and ascended to the position of the league’s commissioner in the offseason. Though the Northern Kentucky River Monsters will miss their star quarterback, the league can rejoice in having the best large leader since President Taft graced the Oval Office. Lorenzen, not to be limited in his post-professional career, is also the current quarterback coach at his alma mater, Highlands High School. Some quarterbacks can never escape the limelight. Every time Brett Favre gets on a tractor, there is an ESPN analyst ready to ask him if he is planning to join the latest team to lose a player to injury. Jared Lorenzen took a different path. After a prolific college career, Lorenzen quickly faded from view as his style of play didn’t transfer to the NFL. The cameras stopped flashing. But Jared didn’t stop playing. He never left football’s side. Though the UIFL isn’t the most prestigious sports league in America (good luck catching a game on Fox Sports), Lorenzen has found an outlet for his passion and is doing what he always did at Kentucky –leading the way, even if it is unconventional. It takes more than food to quell the Hefty Lefty’s appetite. He needs football. If it couldn’t be the NFL, Wildcats fans should rejoice that, at least, he’s still in the game. The coach that recruited him, Hal Mumme, always preached the mantra to “play the next play”. Lorenzen isn’t dwelling in a failed NFL career –he’s simply doing what he knows –moving on to the next play.
  • Digg this!
  • Share this on Reddit
  • Share this on Facebook
  • Tweet This!
  • Buzz up!
  • Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
  • Share this on Mixx
  • Share this on Linkedin
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: Warriors sign Klay Thompson to $70M extension

Cubs oust manager Renteria, setting stage for Maddon

Officially official: Michigan's Dave Brandon has resigned

RG3 won't 'try to be a normal quarterback' on Sunday

Dez Bryant, Joseph Randle reportedly argue before practice

DeAngelo Hall re-tore Achilles tendon while making pizza

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Madison Bumgarner was once roommates with Russell Wilson

Report: Dave Brandon to resign as Michigan's Athletic Director

Wild's Vanek linked to alleged money laundering scheme

Jets fans start 'Fire John Idzik' website

Report: McDonald unlikely to be charged with domestic violence

Texas A&M Aggies bench Kenny Hill for freshman Kyle Allen

WATCH: Goran Dragic punks Suns teammates with baby dino

WATCH: Johnny Manziel cusses out referees at Cavs opener

Dirk Nowitzki, Monta Ellis, Chandler Parsons are 'Run DMC'

Analysis: Alex Gordon wouldn't have scored on Game 7 error

Game of the week: Broncos vs. Patriots

November games that will shape the College Football Playoff

WATCH: Flyers equip. manager pulls prank with fake snake

Simi Valley team recreates Sandlot photo for Halloween

Ranking the Top 10 quarterbacks in the NFL

WATCH: Vanilla Ice rocked the halftime show at T'Wolves game

WATCH: Russell Westbrook gets into it with heckling fan

PHOTO: The best sports-themed Halloween costume this year

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

Game of the week: Broncos vs. Patriots

Baseball team recreates Sandlot pic

Top 10 QBs in the NFL

McDonald unlikely to face D.V. charge

Welker feels like 'weak link' in offense

Cavs intro for LeBron was wild

Greg Hardy won't play this season

Michael Jordan rips Obama's golf game

Torii Hunter in radio ad opposing gay marriage

Curt Schilling praises Bumgarner

GALLERY: Best of sports pumpkins

Top storyline for each Week 9 game

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.