Originally written on StraitPinkie.com  |  Last updated 11/20/14

NEW JERSEY - NOVEMBER 11, 2007: Jared Lorenzen #13 of the New York Giants high fives his teammates during the NFL game against the Dallas Cowboys at Giants Stadium on November 11, 2007 in Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

He weighs over 300 pounds. He’s been Kentucky’s Mr. Football, an MVP, and a Commissioner. Some have even wondered if his stomach has its own gravitational pull. He’s the most interesting man that ever threw a pass for Rich Brooks. He is Jared Lorenzen.

We don’t know if he drinks Dos Equis, but less than a decade ago, Lorenzen cemented himself as a Kentucky legend. In high school, at Highlands, he lettered in the three major sports and earned the title of Mr. Football, caught the eye of then coach Hal Mumme, and became a Kentucky Wildcat. In college, his strong arm and excessive girth earned him many nicknames, including “The Hefty Lefty”, “Pillsbury Throwboy”, and “Qbese”. What many people tend to forget is that his strong arm also earned him some successful seasons as the Wildcats’ signal-caller.

In 2002, Lorenzen had his best statistical season, throwing for 24 TD and only 5 INT, culminating in a solid QB rating of 135.4 and a winning record for the Cats. Though the team was in its punishment phase following the Mumme regime, Lorenzen made Kentucky football fun to watch for his four years. He was fat, yes, but also beloved by the fans. When he wasn’t making players from Middle Tennessee State regret picking a fight with him, he was making defensive backs regret underestimating his ability to throw the rock. Lorenzen, not to be outdone by the likes of Tebow and Cam Newton, was also a very versatile quarterback in the vaunted SEC. After all, he did have six career punts –what a hybrid!

After leaving Kentucky, though, Lorenzen quickly faded into obscurity. His brief stint as Eli Manning’s back-up in New York did give him a championship ring, but he finished his NFL career with less than stellar stats. Lorenzen retired with eight career passes, completing four of them for 28 yards, and scoring a total of one fantasy point. He didn’t even get to punt.

Excepting those who follow Kentucky alumni with a fierce eye, most forgot about Jared Lorenzen for a while. Occasionally, he would rise as the butt of an analyst’s joke, but few knew where Lorenzen had truly gone beyond the NFL. It turns out he’s been busy doing what he loves most –football. Since leaving the NFL, Jared Lorenzen has become a staple of the NFL’s favorite third-cousin –the Ultimate Indoor Football League (UIFL).

His rise in the UIFL has to be an unprecedented journey in pro sports. Within the scope of a single year, he was the MVP of the league and ascended to the position of the league’s commissioner in the offseason. Though the Northern Kentucky River Monsters will miss their star quarterback, the league can rejoice in having the best large leader since President Taft graced the Oval Office. Lorenzen, not to be limited in his post-professional career, is also the current quarterback coach at his alma mater, Highlands High School.

Some quarterbacks can never escape the limelight. Every time Brett Favre gets on a tractor, there is an ESPN analyst ready to ask him if he is planning to join the latest team to lose a player to injury. Jared Lorenzen took a different path. After a prolific college career, Lorenzen quickly faded from view as his style of play didn’t transfer to the NFL. The cameras stopped flashing. But Jared didn’t stop playing. He never left football’s side. Though the UIFL isn’t the most prestigious sports league in America (good luck catching a game on Fox Sports), Lorenzen has found an outlet for his passion and is doing what he always did at Kentucky –leading the way, even if it is unconventional.

It takes more than food to quell the Hefty Lefty’s appetite. He needs football. If it couldn’t be the NFL, Wildcats fans should rejoice that, at least, he’s still in the game. The coach that recruited him, Hal Mumme, always preached the mantra to “play the next play”. Lorenzen isn’t dwelling in a failed NFL career –he’s simply doing what he knows –moving on to the next play.

  • Digg this!
  • Share this on Reddit
  • Share this on Facebook
  • Tweet This!
  • Buzz up!
  • Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon
  • Share this on Mixx
  • Share this on Linkedin
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Ernie Johnson gives his Emmy to Stuart Scott’s daughters

Titus Young avoids prison, receives probation

Manziel moves from downtown Cleveland to golf community

Harris sues Mayweather for $20M for lying in an interview with Katie Couric

The NBA needs to leave 'hack-a-whoever' rules alone

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Top Rank threatens to sue over Mayweather-Pacquiao piracy

Titans already tailoring offense to suit Mariota's strengths

Pettine: Manziel isn't favorite for Browns' starting QB job

Randy Gregory denies 'weed problem,' says he's immature

Jameis Winston wants Bucs to sign LSU OT La'El Collins

Chris Bosh on blood clot diagnosis: ‘I’m lucky to be alive’

La'el Collins reportedly has 'airtight alibi' in murder case

WATCH: Stephen Curry nails shot from hallway prior to game

Top eight NFL free agents on the market

No homers, no problem for Cubs' Kris Bryant

Eagles' Chip Kelly & Sam Bradford: In like, but not love

NFL releases times and dates for preseason slate

Fans file $5M class action suit against Pacquiao over injury

Making sense of the AL East pile-up

Brandon Prust sorry for saying referee ‘tries to play God’

Ron Roenicke and the career afterlives of fired managers

Knicks announcer's MVP ballot had Curry behind Marc Gasol

Edelman mocks Belichick in Cinco de Mayo tweet

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Top eight NFL free agents on the market

Eagles' Chip Kelly & Sam Bradford: In like, but not love

Manziel moves from downtown Cleveland

Making sense of the AL East pile-up

Chris Bosh on blood clot diagnosis: ‘I’m lucky to be alive’

Projecting the All-Star Game rosters

Tiger hasn't slept in three days since Lindsey Vonn breakup

2015 NBA Draft big board, first edition

Eliminate Hack-A-Player: Don't reward violating sports rules

No easy solution to the problem of early NFL draft entrants

What’s next for the Spurs?

Cauley-Stein changes middle name to 'Trill'

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.