Why All of Your NFL Fantasy Picks Suck

Did you pick any of these guys in your fantasy draft? Well they, and you, suck. Here’s why. (Note: players ranked using ESPN.com’s fantasy rankings.) 1. Adrian Peterson, RB, Vikings — Congratulations. Your top running back has run the ball a staggering 1,945 times over the past 7 seasons, is coming off of the lowest yardage season of his pro career, is running behind a crap line, is prone to fumbling and now has Donovan McNabb as his quarterback, so opposing defenses will have 11 men in the box. Great pick. Idiot. 2. Arian Foster, RB, Texans — Oh, jeez. Where to start. You just had to have a player from the mighty Texans, huh? Well, here’s the problem: you wanted Arian Foster last year. You probably also drafted Domanick Davis in 2005, one year after he was good. And Steve Slaton in 2009, one year after he was good. Detect a pattern? It’s you, and the Texans, sucking. (We won’t even go into the fact that you reached for a guy whose name ...