Originally posted on Puck Huffers  |  Last updated 10/12/13
We knew it was coming and we knew it was going to be another team that we care 5% about like the Panthers to make us look dumb. this game was one of the harder games, largely because we had minimal understanding of what was going on, and Jacob Markstrom is a wood elf.  It's a shooting gallery.  Zatkoff is also, possibly, a wood elf. THE "OH OKAY" MEMORIAL TROPHY  Tomas Fleischmann stole a puck from Sid and made a thing happen and the Penguins, for the first time all season, aren't kicking ass and taking names.  Dammit.  It was Brad Boyes who scored the goal but Fleischmann who so deeply hurt our souls.  Remember.  The lesson is that we are not perfect.  And Jeff Zatkoff is our backup now.    BIGGEST OFFLOAD, LIKE AN ORGASM  Malkin finally scored off of a slapper.  BeauBeau was making his presence known to set that **** up.  We hate Panthers games, but we love the hell out of Jacob Markstrom.  Possibly the best NHL twitter.  Definitely the best Swedish twitter. what does buzzin even mean Beside the point:   MOMENT THINGS BECAME LESS OKAY AND YOU WORE A DIOR COUTURE GOWN POORLY The Panthers seem like they are just working harder and we are having flashbacks to the darker days of 2008-2009 and also like every other game of all time where the other team was like WERQ and the Pens were like ehhhhh maybe we'll werq later. Literally Scott Gomez got a point on this so you know it's not okay.  The Panthers scored a goal:   Versteeg BUT STILL.  Gomez.  and lack of werq. MOST PRODIGIOUS OFFENSE  Craig Adams is some kind of delirious savant.  He has sniped, he has been clever, and now he has crashed the net on the Tallest Swede.    That awkwardly ties everything up.  This has been a bit run and gun and it's hard to care about how this game is going because Panthers games are kind of a situation where none of the rules apply, where you're as likely to be transported to Magrathea as you are to win the game, no matter how well you play. DUMBEST PERIOD OF THE NIGHT, DIRECTED BY JONATHAN HUBERDEAU  The Penguins are a mess.  They just seem to be falling gradually apart all period.  They seem tired.  Warm.  As if the Florida air has lulled them.   And they take a ******* of penalties. Versteeg and Fleischmann strike again on a 5-on-3, spinning their black magic while listening to old Beyonce hits and cooking deceptive potions in their cauldron of doom.   3-2.  Huberdeau gets credit.  Ugh it's so hard to hate that kid. damn it, so we're losing again.  Going to have to get used to it.  We're turning Markstrom into a regular Vokoun--they're gonna get a million shots on him, but the Panthers' shots are going to count more.  We miss you, Tomas.  A lot, even. THE "****" MEMORIAL TROPHY  Panthers score again right after that goal.  Seriously.  A little bit of a goofy deflection, but those count, too. Barkov.   REDEMPTION? MAYBE?  The Pens are able to get their own weird goal shortly thereafter though and you could chalk it up to "one of those nights" because it puts the Pens back within one.  Dupuis manages to pick the tiniest, most vulnerable hole in Markstrom's armor. 4-3 But the period is winding down and that momentum isn't going to last too long MOST HOPE VS. LEAST HOPE: A STUDY  The Penguins come out to start the third looking pretty strong.  But hey, that's the rub--Fleischmann is a monster tonight.  He brutalized Orpik and put one in off of Zatkoff's mask which basically ended the night for him mentally and emotionally.   The Pens keep gamely trying to tie it up but not much is really happening.  As a final insult, with about 30 seconds left, Brad Boyes bookends our experience with his grand display and scores again. So yeah 6-3 we don't even know INDIVIDUAL AWARDS YOU TRIED GOLD STAR  Zatkoff was not great tonight.   "LISTEN HERE SONNY"  Still not sure if Kris Versteeg has told his mom that he's taken the Oldsmobile and driven to Florida.  Could be a problem. PRETTIEST PRINCESS   Brooksie had a tough game but at least he got this glamour shot. ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS  1. Gene gif by garage league 2. Nisky - managed to be a +2 3. Chuck Kobasew - 5 shots Florida gave all three of their stars to Panthers so we aren't going to make concessions. go pens  
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