Playoff Mailbag

Good morning, everyone. It's been a fantastic five days of playoff hockey, and I for one have been glued to my television like never before (ah, high-definition… why did I not know about you earlier?). I thought I'd take some time to answer some of the more pressing questions I've received this past week.

Matt Hasse from Edmonton, AB writes:

Love the blog – it's officially my only source for sports, much like The Daily Show is my only source for news. I was wondering… what do you think of the playoff suspensions so far?

Good question, Matt. As much as this pains me to say it, but I think the NHL has got it right – for the most part. Daniel Carcillo received a game because he was taking his first face-off of the year (killing a two-man disadvantage), and Milan Lucic's cross-check/punch on Maxim Lapierre was deserving of a short ban as well.

I thought it was borderline when Michael Cammalleri punched Martin Havlat in the head, though. The play is probably worse than the Carcillo punch but obviously the situation was different.

But this question leads in to the next, logical question…

Maurice Tougas, from Edmonton, AB writes:

I remember when men were men and you had to kill a man to receive a double minor in the playoffs. Now the playoffs has been sissified, and it angers me so.

You make a good point, and it got me to thinking about the NHL's officiating this year. On a whole, I don't think it's been quite as bad as usual through the regular season. I can't remember an Oilers game where I was blinded by rage over a refereeing decision (perhaps this had something to do with Mick McGeough's long overdue retirement, or the Oilers blinding me with rage before the referees had a chance).

However, the playoffs have been ugly. The NHL is setting a dangerous standard by allowing guys like Lucic to charge and board opponents with reckless abandon while referees award game-changing hooking and slashing calls all over the place. Don Cherry is right when he says players are now diving whenever they feel a cross-check, too.

This was illustrated beautifully in the Pittsburgh/Philadelphia series, where I correctly predicted the referees would decisively favour Pittsburgh. Take a look at game two. Philadelphia leads 2-1 with four minutes remaining, and Jeff Carter receives a hooking call for barely (if at all) making contact with Evgeni Malkin (a period earlier Philadelphia had been penalized when Malkin lost an edge). Of course, the Penguins tie it up on the ensuing power-play.

In overtime, Brooks Orpik takes a hilarious dive on a Mike Knuble "cross-check," leading to another Penguins power-play. The Flyers then receive a second penalty for slashing a stick, and the game (as well as the series, probably) is over.

To make matters worse, my brother Richard pointed out to me that Jordan Staal will pretend he was slashed and shake his hand feigning pain if a stick as much as glances against him.

I really hate the Penguins. (Sidenote: The league needs to take a good look at their decision to call a slashing penalty every time a stick breaks. These sticks routinely break when a player takes a wrist shot, so I think it's ridiculous to award a penalty if an opponent taps a stick in the wrong spot).

I understand referees have a hard time, blah blah blah. But how do they repeatedly – repeatedly – get fooled when a player like Alexandre Burrows takes a flop? I can't get over this… if the same guy dives every single game, do you not pick up on it eventually?

Jeremy Bresler from Vancouver, B.C. writes:

Hey Scott… you're a respected voice in the hockey community so you may have powerful insight… what do you think of the broadcasting of the playoffs so far?

Wow, Jer, it's almost like your question was custom-made for my mailbag!

The broadcasting so far has been a mix of the good, the bad, and the hilarious. Let's go channel-by-channel:

CBC: Outside sporting mediocre high-definition, CBC's broadcasts are up to their usual high quality. However, as our national network has been known to do, CBC came up with one terribly stupid idea. In a desperate attempt to get "with it," they have Scott Morrison and some techie sitting in a different studio, perusing the Internet to get in touch with the cyberspace crowd. I'm still not sure who green-lighted this, or why I need to hear what user PuckBunny322 had to say about Sidney Crosby (it turns out he's cute), but this is a bad, bad idea.

In other developments, P.J. Stock has developed a mediocre understanding of English, so at least that's an improvement.

I'm worried about the CBC's financing. If you look on their website, their segments are now "Coaches Corner… presented by G" and "Inside Hockey… presented by Viagra."

TSN: TSN has 36 NHL personalities on the payroll, so what's the logical thing to do? Hire on a 37^th guy with no broadcasting experience!

But who should TSN hire? Well, they need someone who is a) nearby; b) loved in the Toronto community (and by default, Canadian community… same thing, right?); c) has experience… as a former or current Maple Leafs goon.

That's right, Brad May is the guest analyst this year! Sadly, Brad is a terrible speaker, offers little to no insight, and people would only call him "magnetic" because he reminds them of a robot. What a trainwreck.

To make matters worse, rumours have it that Pierre McGuire was inconsolable when he found out CBC got the Mike Richards vs. Sidney Crosby series. Thankfully, TSN managed to swing the Chicago/Calgary and appease Pierre with the Dion Phaneuf vs. Jonathan Toews battle. I, for one, am relieved – it just wouldn't be an NHL playoffs without Pierre yelling at me about a routine face-off win, and referring to his favourite players as "monsters."

Sportsnet: I got home late on Saturday night, and turned on the television in hope of finding hockey highlights. TSN was showing the usual late night fare – competitive log rolling– while The Score was showing a celebrity poker marathon. After 15 minutes of deliberation, I changed the channel to Rogers Sportsnet. I was not disappointed.

Sportsnet was hosted by their weekend crew of Evanka Osmak and Jim Lang. As much as Osmak is the eye candy of the show, I couldn't look past Lang's bulging eyes – it was like they were coming through the screen. To make things more confusing, Lang will describe the action but randomly throw out words.

Lang: "And Patrick Kane goes in all alone, DISHWASHER!" "And the Sedins YEE-HAW KALAMAZOO, now that's how you do it, yes sir!"

But the feature presentation was yet to come. Osmak turned the broadcast over to "Hockeycentral," featuring Darren Millard and Nick Kypreos (keep in mind they cut to a taped segment that Sportsnet shows repeatedly throughout the night).

Kypreos opened the segment by making a fashion segment. He wore a striped suit with a vest underneath, but went without a tie and left the top button or two on his shirt unbuckled. I've never seen a guy dress up more and then decide he wanted to make it casual.

Anyway, Kypper did what he does best – criticize. He broke down what the Calgary Flames are doing wrong against Chicago. Apparently, a lot of it was the fault of Craig Conroy, who doesn't know how to forecheck or compete for the puck. He analyzed a clip, repeatedly circling Conroy and telling us what Conroy was doing wrong. There was one hole in his argument, however.

The player he was circling was David Moss.

I feel bad for Millard; someone should put him on suicide watch because he is definitely not enjoying his time chatting with Kypper and mopping up Bill Watters' sweat. You know things are deteriorating when he opens half his sentences with "but how can you say that considering…"

Chris Nekechuk, from Edmonton, AB writes:

Scott, I'm a long-time fan… both of your blog and your general persona. I was wondering, which team (if any) do you think can dig their way out of a 0-2 hole?

What kind words Chris, thank you.

As much as it hurts to say this, I think Calgary has the best shot. They should have taken a game off of Chicago (maybe two), and will be very difficult to beat at home. I expect the series to go back to Chicago tied two-all, and then it's a toss-up.

Philadelphia, Montreal, St. Louis, and Columbus are all done for… but I'm still unwilling to accept Washington and San Jose are going down without a fight.

A lot of us thought the Sharks would be in tough against Anaheim – but not like this. If Joe Thornton does not make a token appearance soon, his time in San Jose will be coming to an end. Stock analyzed San Jose's top line last night in the post-game show, and noted how Jeremy Roenick completely outplayed Thornton. Just the latest, greatest feat in the disappointing playoff career of Joe Thornton.

Keith Kroker from Edmonton, AB writes:

Hey Scott, what team have you found the most impressive and least impressive this post-season?

Under most impressive it's a tie between Boston and New York. Boston because they've outclassed Montreal by such a wide margin and New York because they're playing smart and do not resemble a team that snuck into the playoffs (yes, my infatuation with the Rangers continues… I don't know why).

On the other side, St. Louis has been a colossal disappointment, and yet in some ways they've impressed me too. I think St. Louis is the worst team to make the playoffs in the last five years because they have very middling talent. Let's put it this way:

• When the Blues have a powerplay, their point-men are Carlo Colaiacovo and rookie forward T.J. Oshie.
  
• When Colaiacovo is taking a rest, they go with former Oilers #8 defenseman, Jeff Woywitka.
  
• In the last minute, Andy Murray sent out stars like Alexander Steen, David Perron, and David Backes.
  

Even though St. Louis is going to be swept, they have an incredibly promising future. Check out the age and the salaries of the players listed below (all of them receive regular shifts for the team):

• T.J. Oshie, 21, $850,000/year for the next three years (small bonus can be reached)
  
• Patrik Berglund, 20, $825,000/year for the next three years (small bonus can be reached)
  
• Jay McClement, 25, $950,000/year, RFA this off-season
  
• David Perron, 20, $875,000/year for the next two years
  
• Brandon Crombeen, 22, $550,000, RFA this off-season
  
• Erik Johnson, 20, $850,000/year next two years (out all season with a torn ACL, but would have played considerable minutes)
  
• Jeff Woywitka, 24, $725,000/year, RFA this off-season
  
• Roman Polak, 22, $475,000/year, RFA this off-season
  

Eight regulars (25 or under) making less than a $1 million/year. And I didn't even mention Jeff Weaver or Brad Winchester, who also make under $1 million.

I just thought I'd post the clip of Georges Laraque finally getting a piece of Milan Lucic: