Boy... and we all thought that Anze Kopitar signing with a 2nd Tier hockey team in Sweden would be the biggest news of the day. Thankfully, Philip Anschutz put an end to that. So Jesse Cohen and I sat down with the Woodward and Bernstein of the AEG sale, Dennis Bernstein, to figure out why Anschutz wants to sell off his evil empire.
"Pardonnez-moi, monsieur... this photo is for players only."
"Shut it, Bernier. I played more in these playoffs than you did."
You can check out the latest All The Kings Men here, subscribe to it on iTunes or listen below.
And in international news... The Royal Half was featured on television! Well... Canadian television... but it's still television nonetheless! Something called the Global News featured "Locked Out & I Know It" in their roundup of what dumb hockey fans were doing with their time off. You can check out the link here.
Ugh, TV adds 10 pounds to my blog name.
And finally, a few days ago Jesse Cohen released a massive diatribe against the NHL Lockout the only way he knows how... to the tune of a classic childrens' poem about Santa Claus. Which is pretty impressive for Jesse... mainly because he's Jewish. Here it is, in its entirety.
Twas the day of the lockout and no talks were planned
There would be no heroics, no late night last stand
The players and owners would fight over cash
While the hopes and the dreams of the fans were all dashed
They had taken to facebook and reddit and twitter
And as the lockout drew closer their words became bitter
“Up yours Gary Bettman!” “Screw you Donald Fehr”
“Please don’t make another season disappear”
But the lawyers on both sides had made up their minds
And politely told fans we could kiss their behinds
Despite all the owners griping and complaints
They were handing out contracts with little restraint
“Four more years for Shane Doan, $18 Million for Burrows!!!”
While the brows of the fans became wrinkled and furrowed
“Don’t blame us” said the players “for the owners confusion”
While their salaries climbed the fans grew disillusioned
We don’t care about escrows, profit sharing or rollbacks
Or if big market teams should pay a luxury tax
We want to see hockey not hear your regrets
or listen to lawyers posture and make threats
And the good news for fans, who might be so inclined
There’ll be hockey this year, you can watch it online
The juniors and minors will still play their games
While the NHLPA call the owners bad names
“It won’t be as fun as the big leagues” you’ll scoff
But it beats watching Baseball or Tennis or Golf
And before you all know it this lockout will end
And we’ll go back to watching the teams over spend
And in another six years or possibly later
We’ll find ourselves cursing a new batch of traitors
New owners, new players and a new set of lawyers
Brand new employees and brand new employers
They’ll fight over money and lengths of contracts
They’ll distort the numbers and twist all the facts
And we’ll keep on watching and filling the stands
Because the league knows we’re “the worlds greatest fans”
for us it’s not business it’s a piece of our lives
It makes us skip work and helps us survive
It brings us together, it makes grown men weep
It fills all our dreams when we fall fast asleep
So forgive us dear players and agents and owners
If we rant and we rave and we call you all moaners
You’re stealing our fun and you’re taking our hockey
Forcing us to choose between Norfolk and Milwaukee
We won’t get to see the Kings raising their banner
Or watch them defend it, (and do it for Tanner)
We’ll miss the NHL on our TV sets
The Leafs and the Habs and the Flames and Jets
The Sharks and the Blues, the Coyotes and Ducks
The Wild, the Flames and Vancouver Canucks
The Bruins and Flyers and Penguins and Red Wings
The Rangers and Devils and the joy watching them brings
So I make this last plea tho I know it won’t matter
Please cut through the jargon and ******** and chatter
End the lockout as quickly as you possibly can
Or I may actually consider not being a fan
Delivered to your inbox
|Best of Yardbarker||NFL News||MLB News|
Today's Best Stuff
Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.
What is Yardbarker?