Originally written on Barry Melrose Rocks  |  Last updated 11/14/14
Gettyimageproxy.ashx_requesturl_http_3a_2f_2fcache.gettyimages.com_2fxc_2f85576885.jpg_3fv_3d1_26c_3dewsasset_26k_3d2_26d_3d17a4ad9fdb9cf1932c5816113bcd9d3c4fa45e7223a37395
The NHL season is back! My loyalty lies with the Minnesota Wild, so I wanted to be sure to get an interview with the home town team. Fortunately, I was able to het an interview with captain Mikko Koivu. The best part was that the team wished me well in the interview. Their exact words were "good luck!".  BMR: There were some big changes to the Wild this offseason. What do you think was the most important? MK:  My descent into the deepest depths of the netherworld and bargained with Satan himself and exchange for my soul, I have been given the power of a thousand demons. Parise and Suter were also nice additions. BMR: Oh wow! Sounds like a busy offseason! Was it nice to hear the fans cheering for you against Colorado on Saturday night? MK: The sounds of 18000 fans pale in comparison to the wailing of infinite souls wailing in agony for all eternity. BMR: What will be the biggest key for the Wild this year? MK: Possession BMR: Of the puck? Or um.. right. So, this whole demon thing... Do the flames coming off of your entire body cause problems to the ice?  MK: The cold abyss that once was my heart is more than enough to stifle the flames that erupt all around me. BMR: What about the spiders that crawl from your mouth every time you open it? [At this point, Devil Koivu offers an unbroken, pupil-less  stare, and I begin to feel my chest constrict, as though my very soul is being ripped from my body. I break the stare and move on!] BMR: All right, moving on! What do you think you can offer this team? MK: The allegiance of millions of hellions, evil demons and the eternal damnation of our enemies. Also, I'm a strong back checker. BMR: I am beginning to see why people thought that this interview might go poorly. Jesus, you're frightening. [Upon saying the name 'Jesus' Devil Koivu hisses and exposes a mouth full of fangs. A smaller Koivu head emerges from his mouth and hisses at me as well, then Devil Koivu retreats into the darkness] Thanks for the interview, Minnesota Wild and Devil Mikko Koivu! Please don't haunt my nightmares!
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Celtics looking to make LeBron's life difficult in playoff series

WATCH: Luke Rockhold chokes out Lyoto Machida

WATCH: Masai Ujiri fires up Raptors fans with expletive

Andre Johnson: Signing with Colts not about revenge

Pete Rose joining FOX as baseball analyst

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Josh Hamilton filed for divorce around time of relapse

Isaiah Thomas once peed himself to avoid subbing out

Report: ESPN employees want Britt McHenry fired

WATCH: Raptors fans shower Paul Pierce with vulgar taunts

Report: Vikings want first-rounder, starting CB for Peterson

Jarret Stoll arrested for possession of drugs

Report: Todd Gurley's knee checks out well in evaluation

WATCH: All 286 3-pointers Steph Curry made this season

WATCH: Devan Dubnyk makes great save while leaving net

Sabres GM not happy about losing draft lottery

Yordano Ventura ejected for plunking Brett Lawrie

Five early takeaways from the 2015 MLB season

WATCH: Cubs fan catches foul ball in beer cup, chugs it

WATCH: Cardale Jones throws ball 74 yards during contest

Shaka Smart was quite popular at the Texas spring game

Ohio State sets spring game attendance record

WATCH: Bubba Watson raps on Christian rap track

WATCH: Jags mascot wins closest to pin at Sawgrass

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Josh Hamilton filed for divorce from wife

Report: McHenry's coworkers want her fired

WATCH: Raptors fans taunt Paul Pierce

Five things to watch in NBA Playoffs

Jarret Stoll busted for drugs

CJ Wilson: Hamilton is 'ready to go'

Leaked Clippers jersey redesigns

Tequila Patron Sports Car Showcase preview

Home runs ruined our ability to appreciate production

Why we love the NFL draft

The "worst" player on each NBA playoff team

Jim Harbaugh showed up at Ultimate Frisbee practice

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.