Dany Heatley meets with Kevin Lowe: The secret transcript

Two men enter. One leaves.As everyone knows by now, Oilers president Kevin Lowe rushed to Kelowna last night to meet with Senators winger Dany Heatley in an attempt to convince him to waive his no-trade clause and accept a deal to Edmonton.Neither side is commenting about what went on at the meeting. But as long-time readers may have suspected, DGB spies were able to breach the security at the Heatley compound and record the discussion.What follows is the top secret transcript of the conversation.Lowe: Dany, I want to thank you for meeting with me. I know this entire situation has been difficult for you, but I really believe that after we get a chance to chat, you're going to want to be a part of the Oilers.Heatley: Hey, I'm willing to hear you out.Lowe: Now, just so I'm clear on your side of things, you're demanding a trade because...Heatley: ... because I can't spend another day in Ottawa. I'm miserable beyond any measure of human understanding. Every day I...