Originally posted on Barry Melrose Rocks  |  Last updated 11/6/11

Hello Tim, the guy from the Tim Horton's Ad I dressed up as for Halloween, 

 

Special thanks to @DasNordlicht91 and @kid_kawartha for the still.

I’m sorry if my costume was offensive. It was kind of an inside joke with me and the other Leafs guys.  They kept buying me Tim Horton’s coffee (even though I don’t really drink coffee) and asking me about a BELT. I know the B stands for bacon, but also that sausage is equally tasty.  Also, I had maybe an hour to think up and make my costume.  I ended up late to that party.  I HATE being late to anywhere if I can help it. 

To be honest, I think you and other construction guys are doing a swell job here in Canada. Everybody needs roads and buildings and I’m sure you’re doing a bang-up job in between starring in commercials.  You can point to something after you’ve finished and say “I helped build that.”  No matter what I do, you’ll always have that, unless your building gets torn down or catches on fire or something.

You say I’m better looking and more successful than you, but that’s just not true.  I mean, I can’t run a crane, or whatever construction thing you do.  I also can’t grow a beard that’s as thick or as red as yours, so that’s a plus!  I’m sure it gets cold working construction, and that beard is great for keeping your face warm.  My beard isn’t nearly as good for that.
 

I can see you’re frustrated and mad, and I understand.  I wasn’t trying to be mean—I really do care about the construction workers everywhere, who work on heavy machinery and do dangerous work to make things we all take for granted.  You all deserve a special day and—wait…was that a middle finger at the end? Dion Phaneuf keeps telling me it’s a Hawaiian good luck sign, but I have a sneaky suspicion that it’s not a very nice gesture.  If that’s so, I’ll be awfully steamed that you were so rude to me on YouTube.

What’s this? An apology?

I accept your apology, Tim Horton’s guy.  You have seen the error of your ways, and God really appreciates that.  Maybe sometime, we could go out for donuts or something. Get to know each other beyond this silly Internet rivalry.  Gosh darn it, I think we could even be friends.

Hold on…DID YOU END YOUR VIDEO WITH “GO HABS?”

That kind of malarkey is just unforgiveable.  Darn it.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Arum says Pacquiao would fight McGregor if Mayweather won't

Aaron Judge hits first grand slam of his career

David Stern: Lakers could have had Chris Paul, GM panicked

Brandon Jacobs vows to 'expose' Jim Harbaugh, get him fired

Mike Zimmer won’t retire even if right eye goes blind

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Kevin Love responds to Draymond Green’s ‘annihilation’ trash talk

Spike Lee deletes Instagram post saying Kaepernick signed with Seattle

Errol Spence is the real deal, takes down Kell Brook

Indians reveal Frank Robinson statue at Progressive Field

Report: Jerry West considered rejoining the Lakers before they hired Magic Johnson

The NHL is thinking about hosting an outdoor game in Nashville

Journey to the Stanley Cup Final: Pittsburgh Penguins

Best of Yardbarker: Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines

The 'More like Whiffer, Texas Ranger...amirite?' quiz

The Rewind: Vince Carter's graduation day celebration that wasn't

Manu Ginobili gave life to the San Antonio Spurs

Stanley Cup Final: A David vs. Goliath matchup that's not as lopsided as it may appear

Why the Indianapolis 500 is called 'the greatest spectacle in racing'

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Box Score 5/26: Bring on the Finals

Why wait? Our too soon Cavaliers-Warriors NBA Finals preview

Kicking It: East is East, and West is West

Three Up, Three Down: Some surprises way out (NL) West

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Journey to the Stanley Cup Final: Pittsburgh Penguins

Best of Yardbarker: Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines

The 'More like Whiffer, Texas Ranger...amirite?' quiz

Stanley Cup Final: A David vs. Goliath matchup that's not as lopsided as it may appear

Manu Ginobili gave life to the San Antonio Spurs

The Rewind: Vince Carter's graduation day celebration that wasn't

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Kicking It: East is East, and West is West

Three Up, Three Down: Some surprises way out (NL) West

The 'Let's go to the videotape!' quiz

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker