Originally written on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 4/4/13
There is no way you can trade her away (trust me, I've tried)... so Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck is back for something we like to call "Know Your Opponent." Tonight, Brigitte stares Zenon Konopka straight in the eyes and asks him to pet her bunny.  No, I know... for regular readers of "Know Your Opponent" you are going to think that this is a sexual euphemism. But no, she actually wants to pet Zenon Konopka's bunny. Oh... just read it yourself... Click Here to Read the Know Your Opponent for for the Kings vs Minnesota Wild on April 4th, 2013!!! Who exactly are the Minnesota Wild? I mean do you know? I know I haven't given two ***** about them since Gaborik was some Jesus child over there that was supposed to deliver The State of Hockey back to relevance. That worked out really well, because I still don't care. I do however have to figure out something to talk about, so I figured I would do one of my extremely popular investigative reports. So I decided to go to the super popular Wild blog, Hockey Wilderness. I mean everyone loves them right? I find that the true fan base comes out during game day threads, so I creeped on their last one to get to the bottom of who actually roots for the Wild.    Only 42 comments? That seems really low.  For example, when I creeped on Red Wings fans there was close to 500 posts in each thread.  Whatever quality over quantity right?     DECAF BUDDY!  So there seems to be some intelligent life here.  That's good, maybe their fans are pretty cool.     Ok, kind of whiny, but whatever.    This is....ummm.       Is this guy in a mental hospital?  Please tell me this guy doesn't just walk around with normal people.     The State of Hockey, Ladies and Gents!    We will gladly take that match-up thank you every much!    This is a thing that happens apparently.    So....first round match-up? Yes please!   I know that Hockey Wilderness is sort of a **** fest most of the time, so I won't hold the whole fan base to this standard. I'm sure they're good people and don't have crazy conspiracy theories.   WAHHHHHH   Whatever, whiny fan bases are annoying, but is anyone really surprised by that? Minnesota gets **** on a lot. I can handle dumb fan bases as long as the team is delightful, and the Wild kind of are.       If this doesn't make Puck Daddy's top hockey hug I will riot! Just look at this hug, so many limbs and bodies in one mass of humanity.  No idea who the player on top there is, but holy **** he's excited.  Konopka is a big dude, and it takes a lot of pure joy to jump that high.  Sadly, the guy that has the best view of this hug doesn't give a ****.  GET OFF YOUR PHONE ASSHOLE AND LOOK AT THE MAN LOVE IN FRONT OF YOU!      My god Konopka gives some good hugs!  He lifted the damn goalie! This looks like the end of a terrible Nicholas Sparks novel turned terrible movie, of course that means one of them dies of cancer at the end though :(      Konopka again giving some great hug action, this time to old man Cullen.  Everyone eagerly awaits their turn on the Konopka Hug Train!    Why is Konopka such a lover? He seems like a scary ass dude honestly. His nose also looks like he's been in a few fights in his day. So why is a guy who beats the crap out of others such a softie?       I present to you, Hoppy!  Yes, Zenon Konopka has a pet bunny named Hoppy.       He also makes his teammates take pictures with the bunny.      No, you can't eat the bunny.      Oh yea he also paid cash money to have a photo shoot with Hoppy.      Very romantic.       Yes, that is a custom made Wild jersey for his bunny.       That's kind of a huge bunny, damn!      Apparently people are more interested in his bunny than his girlfriend.  Wait...is his bunny his girlfriend?  I bet he's friends with David Backes.    Ok, so the Wild are kind of cute and adorable, but a quick look at the standings says otherwise! Plus, remember the game the other day?       LOL QUICK     Cool, I love getting schooled by AHL call ups.  **** off Charlie Coyle!   Are you not pissed off enough yet? Are you still thinking about the cute bunny? Well look at this picture of Cal Clutterbuck and let nature run it's course.      ******* Gross. 
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

NFLPA: NFL didn't respond to Tom Brady settlement offer

Tom Coughlin calls Jason Pierre-Paul situation a ‘fiasco’

Cole Hamels chose Rangers over Astros

Tom Brady lawsuit transferred from Minnesota to Manhattan

LeGarrette Blount failed conditioning test

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Trent Richardson 'reclamation project not going so well'

Geno Smith laughed at being ranked last in QB poll

Penn State trash talks Notre Dame Twitter over 'Rudy'

Report: Aroldis Chapman unlikely to be traded

Mets’ trade for Carlos Gomez called off despite reports

Report: Rangers to acquire Cole Hamels from the Phillies

Affairs of the Hart (Trophy)

The indefensible Hulk Hogan

Terry Collins writes letter to widow of longtime Mets fan

Jets fans fly "Cheaters Look Up" banner over Patriots practice

Dodgers upgrade rotation in unexpected, intelligent way

For some NFL players, life begins at undrafted

NBA's Africa game: A tribute to Hakeem Olajuwon

Top storyline for each NFL team heading into training camp

Texas QB commit has great anti-Oklahoma T-shirt

WATCH: Tim Tebow does monster leg workout

Farrell: Sandoval's conditioning 'continues to be addressed'

Revis won't wear Super Bowl ring around Jets teammates

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

The indefensible Hulk Hogan

Cole Hamels chose Rangers over Astros

Can Preller fix the mess in San Diego?

Next summer's top 10 NBA free agents

Who is the NL's new top shortstop?

Cardinals HC Bruce Arians calls Jen Welter a 'trailblazer'

Mets still act like a small-market team

Tom Brady: I did nothing wrong

NFL upholds Tom Brady's suspension, legal battle likely

Cardinals hire first female NFL coach

Larry Bird: Michael Jordan would kill me in 1-on-1 now

Seau family: HOF broke their word

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker