Originally written on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 4/13/12

NEW YORK - OCTOBER 14: Matt Greene #2 of the Los Angeles Kings skates against the New York Rangers at Madison Square Garden on October 14, 2009 in New York, New York. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

We all have our roles here at The Royal Half Headquarters. I am the creative genius and driving force behind the site. Indiana Matt is the photoshop expert and in-house Midwestern Farm Boy. And the latest addition to our team, Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck, is the resident raging alcoholic. No, seriously guys... she really, really has a problem. We shouldn't make light of it one bit. So instead... we are going to let her make fun of it! So if you are watching at home or watching at an awesome Watch Party in Cerritos (where ever the hell that is!)... presenting, the Official Los Angeles Kings Playoff Drinking Game!!!

The good thing is that you know Drew Doughty will always pick up the tab.
Cute white iPhone, Drew. 

Click Here to Read How to Play the Los Angeles Kings Playoff Drinking Game!!!

 

I'm not a scientist or anything, but I think you might be doing it wrong.

As any LA Kings fan can tell you sometimes a good drink is needed to get through a game. Let's face it, when you root for a team who's 30th 29th (woo!) in the league in scoring there's not too much to cheer about. So in order to get through the often exciting 1-0 hockey games, me and a few close friends have developed an entertaining way to get through the night. Now that this team is in the playoffs many of you may need this more than ever.

Remember please play this drinking game responsibly, and by responsibly I mean by getting completely obliterated.

THE RULES

  1. Pick out a drink of choice for the game. Whether it's beer, wine, or if you're going for the hard stuff, it's best to pick one beverage and stick with that all night.
  2. Pick out which things you're going to drink to. Start with just one and work your way into your alcoholism.
  3. Have fun, remember that's why you watch this STUPID TEAM!!!!!!!!

THINGS TO DRINK TO:

1) EVERY TIME DUSTIN BROWN FALLS ON HIS ASS


The Dustin Brown School of Skating has many pupils, but none can match the falling prowess of the founder.

  • Once if it's after a check or on a play with any type of contact.
  • Twice if he's diving.
  • Chug the whole thing if he's at least 5 feet away from anyone.

2) DRINK, EVERY TIME DREW DOUGHTY TURNS THE PUCK OVER

"Oops. Wait I'm supposed to pass the puck to the guys in white? Sorry my bad."

  • Once if it's in the offensive zone.
  • Twice if it's in the neutral zone.
  • Three times if it's in front of the Kings net.
  • Chug the whole thing if it results in a goal against.

3) DRINK, EVERY TIME MATT GREENE LOSES HIS HELMET

"I changed my helmet this year, the old one was falling off too much."

  • Take one drink the first time Matt Greene's helmet falls off.
  • Take one drink the second time Matt Greene's helmet falls off.
  • Take one drink the third time Matt Greene's helmet falls off.
  • Take one drink the fourth time Matt Greene's helmet falls off.
  • Take one drink the fifth time Matt Greene's helmet falls off.
  • Take one drink the sixth time Matt Greene's helmet falls off.
  • Take one drink the seventh time Matt Greene's helmet falls off.
  • Take one drink the eighth time Matt Greene's helmet falls off.
  • If you don't get the point by now... Matt Greene's helmet falls off a lot during the game.

4) DRINK, EVERY TIME A LA KINGS PLAYER MISSES AN OPEN NET

Hockey 101: The puck goes in the net, not 10 feet high and wide.

  • Once if it's a forward.
  • Twice if it's a defenseman.
  • Three times if it's Dustin Brown.
  • Chug the whole thing if it's Dustin Penner.
  • Bonus drink if the other team has pulled their goalie.

5) DRINK, EVERY TIME JARRET STOLL TAKES A STUPID PENALTY

Jarret Stoll's penalty was so stupid they just put Mike Richards in the box too.

  • Once if it's in the offensive zone.
  • Twice if it's within the first five minutes of the game.
  • Three times if it's within five minutes of the end of the game.
  • Chug the whole thing if the other team scores on the power play.

6) DRINK, EVERY TIME BOB MILLER AND/OR JIM FOX...

"I think I'm going to just drink straight from the bottle Bob."

  • Say something about a player involving: 
  1. Playing against a former team.
  2. Playing against a former coach. 
  3. The University of Wisconsin.
  • Mess up a players name or number:
  1. Bonus if it happens more than once to the same player.
  2. Another bonus if a players name is completely made up. (i.e. David Brown instead of David Booth)
  3. Extra bonus if it's not Bob Miller who says it.
        • Say something about Jeff Carter's "Quick Release."
        • Jim Fox says "Whoa!"

        SPECIAL BONUS DRINK TRIGGERS FOR OUR FRIENDS FROM THE NORTH WHO ARE WATCHING ON CBC!!!
        (OR OUR U.S. FRIENDS WATCHING ON NBC SN)

        That's not a trash can he's throwing... it's filled with Molson Light.

        • Drink every time Coach Darryl Sutter's brothers are mentioned. 
        • Drink every time the Los Angeles Kings lack of scoring during the regular season is mentioned.
        • Drink whenever Jonathan Quick is mentioned as being a Vezina candidate.
        • Drink every time the announcers criticize a call against the Los Angeles Kings. 
        • Drink every time Dustin Penner scores the game winning goal on your team. In fact, if that happens again... you shouldn't stop drinking until the fall of 2012.
        GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
        Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
        MORE FROM YARDBARKER

        Report: Three teams achieve separation in Aldridge chase

        WATCH: Serena Williams wags finger at Wimbledon crowd, says, 'Don’t try me'

        Report: Rajon Rondo headed to Sacramento Kings

        Dez Bryant deal with Cowboys could be announced Monday

        Brandon Saad, Ryan O’Reilly sign long-term contracts with Columbus, Buffalo

        LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
        GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

        Mavs solidify future, sign Wesley Matthews, DeAndre Jordan

        A-Rod, Yankees settle dispute over home run milestone bonus

        Report: Robin Lopez, Knicks finalizing four-year deal

        Becky Hammon will coach Spurs' Summer League team

        Jimmy Butler on Derrick Rose: ‘I don’t think we have any issues’

        Yankees get A-Rod's 3,000th hit ball for $150,000 donation

        The top American sports moments since the last Fourth of July

        Nine former college football rivalries that need to come back

        The most patriotic uniforms in American sports

        Jeanie Buss: Brother Jim will step down if Lakers don't make deep run within two seasons

        DeAndre Jordan to Dallas: The Los Angeles Clippers are literally mad men

        Remember when the Cincinnati Bearcats were the scariest team in America?

        Are the Angels now the worst organization in baseball?

        Five reasons the Browns should play Johnny Manziel

        Blue Jays need rookies to keep producing for success in 2015

        WATCH: Sean Doolittle gets cup check from teammate

        University of Florida developing high-tech smart mouth guard

        Pat McAfee is the best punter in NFL history

        NHL News
        Delivered to your inbox
        You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

        By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
        the YARDBARKER app
        Get it now!
        Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

        Russell Wilson 'would definitely consider' playing for Mariners

        Solo, Rapinoe among USWNT stars up for World Cup awards

        LBS on Sports Jeopardy! Here's how how it went

        College football's 35 most patriotic helmets

        A brief history of non-star All-Stars

        With Love retained, the Cavs can take care of LeBron

        Grading the deal: Davis commits to Pelicans

        Obama Administration: Change name if Redskins move to D.C.

        Deciding what the All-Star Game means

        Odell Beckham Jr. offered professional baseball contract

        Orioles keep finding a way to win

        Lloyd sends USWNT to World Cup final

        Today's Best Stuff
        For Bloggers

        Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

        Company Info
        Help
        What is Yardbarker?

        Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.