Originally written on Nightmare on Helm Street  |  Last updated 12/14/11

GLENDALE, AZ - JANUARY 02: Pavel Datsyuk #13 of the Detroit Red Wings shoot the puck past Zbynek Michalek #4 of the Phoenix Coyotes during the third period of the NHL game at Jobing.com Arena on January 2, 2010 in Glendale, Arizona. The Red Wings defeated the Coyotes 4-1. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

So after Jordan's post this morning about Twitter, I started looking at a few of those accounts (which I can do without having a profile, ha!), enjoyed a few, then got to @notpaveldatsyuk.  

Holy crap. This is pure gold.

Somehow, @notpaveldatsyuk manages to actually be like Pavel Datsyuk, but even funnier.  I'm not entirely sure it's not just Pavel pretending to be a fake verison of himself.  In fact, the more I read it, the more I think it is.  Take a look with me, it's incredible.   

(Not) Pavel Datysuk after the jump: 

First with some just hilarious one liners. 

I swear, Helm make one more joke about Danger Zone or buzz the tower before tomorrow's Jets game, I shoot him down.

In locker room now. Homer ask Conklin if he is trying to steal job from him deflecting pucks into nets. 

Fake Pavel is worried about leaving Drew Miller in Buffalo a few days ago...

I think we make mistake leaving Buffalo. Drew Miller's hair look darker. Also, since when does he own goalie pads? 

A hilarious dig on the child, Patty Kane: 

In Buffalo tonight. Weird city. Can anybody say why cab drivers flinch when I tell them I am NHL Player for Central Division team?

A couple more that made me laugh out loud. 

Milan Lucic run my goalie like that, I make sure he have to eat dinner through straw. I make it twisty straw though. I am no monster.

Ian White face has done more to prevent goals this season than Steve Mason whole body. Get well soon, Ian!

All Red Wings games are must see! Especially for me. Play blindfolded very hard.

I say congrats to all Red Wings for seven year guarantee against being Kronwalled!

Yes, I have my own bobble. I also have Hank's. I put them together. Sometimes Babcock bobble come over and separate them. I do not know why. 

God that last one is good.  Now a black Friday joke: 

I almost finish Christmas shopping today. Turns out you cannot buy goal for Bertuzzi.

And I'll finish with my personal favorite: 

Somebody try explain to me why Jimmy Howard not on All-Star ballot. We try keep him getting suspended maybe?

Just incredible stuff.  Whoever runs this (I know its you Pavel, you sly Russian) is a genious. 


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