Originally written on Barry Melrose Rocks  |  Last updated 10/22/14
Vancouver_canucks_v_508a
[Inside Mike Gillis' office] Gillis: Thank you, gentlemen, for joining me Daniel Sedin: We were counting our nipples. Henrik Sedin: We have 5. Gillis: I wanted you to join  me -- Wait, which one of you has 3 nipples? Daniel: What do you mean?  GIllis: You just said.... never mind. I wanted you to come here so you, as the two longest tenured members of our team, and leaders both, to be the first to meet our new coach, John Tortorella Henrik: How did you find out about the length of our tenures? Gillis: Coach Tortorella, could you please join us? Daniel: Pleasure to meet you Tortorola. I will be the first to tell you I prefer Samsung. Henrik: I am ok with anything that has AT&T and not Vigneaultzon.  Gillis: That's Tortorella, guys Daniel: Oh, I am very sorry Coach Tortuga. Did you know your name means turtle in Scott Gomez? Henrik: I like turtles Gillis: TORTORELLA Henrik: This is no time for desert, Mr...
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

PGA president calls Ian Poulter ‘lil girl’ for Nick Faldo comments

Belichick declines to address Revis' reported tardiness

Texas mayor delays Halloween for Friday night football game

C-USA hired PR firm to help Marshall’s playoff chances

Wilson denies rumored Harvin rift, blames media for scrutiny

Report: Cowboys could limit DeMarco Murray's touches

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Lakers announce Steve Nash to miss season with back issues

Is Mack Brown the best option for SMU?

Jeremy Kerley on new contract: 'Bentleys for everybody'

Buss: Any FA who won’t play with Kobe ‘probably a loser’

NFL to start airing its own anti-domestic violence PSAs

Ex-Bronco John Boyett punched cabbie, told cops to call Elway

WATCH: Former NBAer delivers vicious flying elbow Down Under

RNS looking to add agents with existing client rosters

Would World Series win make the Giants a dynasty?

NFL teams facing potential must-win scenarios in Week 8

WATCH: Jeremy Lin poses as Adidas employee for prank

WATCH: Peyton screams at fans to 'shut the f- up!'

Father auctioning off infant son's soccer club allegiance

Love thanks T'Wolves fans in essay for not burning his jersey

WATCH: Browns WR 'kicks out' son over favorite player snub

Memorabilia dealer wants Todd Gurley reinstated immediately

Aaron Rodgers gave girlfriend Olivia Munn a 'special ring'?

The 10 college football programs with most to gain in Week 9

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

What Luis Suarez's return means for Barcelona

World Series win = Giants dynasty?

NFL teams facing must-win scenarios in Week 8

Programs with a lot on the line this week

Wilson denies rumored Harvin rift

Lakers: Steve Nash out for season

Is Mack Brown SMU's best option?

Are sports leagues finally getting serious about domestic violence?

Brian Urlacher rips Jay Cutler

On Kevin Love, Kyrie Irving and embracing newfound roles

Top NFL storylines: Week 8

Kiffin's mom worried for son's safety

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.