Originally posted on Barry Melrose Rocks  |  Last updated 6/22/13
Vancouver_canucks_v_508a
[Inside Mike Gillis' office] Gillis: Thank you, gentlemen, for joining me Daniel Sedin: We were counting our nipples. Henrik Sedin: We have 5. Gillis: I wanted you to join  me -- Wait, which one of you has 3 nipples? Daniel: What do you mean?  GIllis: You just said.... never mind. I wanted you to come here so you, as the two longest tenured members of our team, and leaders both, to be the first to meet our new coach, John Tortorella Henrik: How did you find out about the length of our tenures? Gillis: Coach Tortorella, could you please join us? Daniel: Pleasure to meet you Tortorola. I will be the first to tell you I prefer Samsung. Henrik: I am ok with anything that has AT&T and not Vigneaultzon.  Gillis: That's Tortorella, guys Daniel: Oh, I am very sorry Coach Tortuga. Did you know your name means turtle in Scott Gomez? Henrik: I like turtles Gillis: TORTORELLA Henrik: This is no time for desert, Mr. Willis Daniel: I will start with the questions. Question 1. Have you ever been to Canada? I have not been but I wish to go. Henrik: Question 2. Do you like to be tickled? May I tickle you now? Daniel: Are you a turtle? Henrik: I like turtles. Daniel: Follow up, if you are not a turtle, why are you named after one, and are you Finn? Henrik: Finns are the scourge of the earth. Daniel: EFTERBLIVEN Henrik: EFTERBLIVEN John Tortorella: This is the stupidest line of questioning I have ever heard. Are you retarded? I don't mean to offend, but with questions as soul crushingly stupid as these, I wonder if you are legitimately damaged, mentally. Henrik: I have been tarded once. Daniel is the only one to have been re-tarded.  Tortorella: I don't... what? Daniel: I don't see what that has to do with this conversation.  Henrik: You are making us uncomfortable /Daniel and Henrik turn around and start emiting a loud high pitched noise Tortorella: Finally, someone is yelling around here. I think I will be just fine.
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: Giants’ Victor Cruz cleared to practice

PETA sends Warren Sapp vegan lobster following shark bite

Report: Josh McCown has looked better at times than RG3

Mike Trout does David Ortiz impersonation

Suspended Steelers WR Martavis Bryant set to help coach HS football

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Tickets for ‘Monday Night Football’ game in Mexico sell out

Kevin Durant says he never told Russell Westbrook he was staying in OKC

God Shammgod hired by Mavericks as player development assistant

Soccer player terminates contract after being attacked by stray dogs

Todd Bowles confirms Ryan Fitzpatrick is Jets starting QB: ‘It’s his job’

Carmelo Anthony shocked Dwyane Wade left Miami for Chicago

Giants acquire All-Star Eduardo Nunez from the Twins

Vikings QB injured trying to kick open door

Josh Gordon thankful for support from Browns

Report: Seahawks DE Chris Clemons retiring

Denard Robinson blames falling asleep at stoplight for pond crash

Everything that's already gone wrong at the Rio Olympics

Hue Jackson: Browns will give Josh Gordon a fresh start

Diamondbacks nearing Daniel Hudson trade

Amar'e Stoudemire's presence (and absence) changed the NBA

What would George Costanza have traded to get Bonds and Griffey?

Gabby Douglas can make USA Gymnastics history at Olympics

Week 3 will determine the Big Ten's reputation this season

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Everything that's already gone wrong at the Rio Olympics

Amar'e Stoudemire's presence (and absence) changed the NBA

We asked Team USA: What other Olympic sport would you play?

Why Gary Bettman's CTE denial is cause for concern for NHL

WATCH: Inside the Nike SNKRS BOX in SF for Golden Air Celebration

WATCH: Five other uniforms Chris Sale should cut up

QUIZ: Name every Olympic event in which the USA has never won a gold medal

Five U.S. Olympians favored to win multiple gold medals

WATCH: What teams should join the Big 12?

One Gotta Go: Do NBA players really love NBA2K?

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker