Things I Wish I Had Said

1. "In high school I took some science, some English, some hub caps, and some wheel covers." Gates Brown, the Tigers' pinch-hitter extraordinaire, has been credited with this gem, which for whatever reason is one of my favorite baseball quotes of all time -- and it's not even really about baseball. Brown got his nickname for having spent some time in prison. 2. "Half of our team is gutless. And the other half is brainless." No, it's not a Lions fan. It's former Tampa Bay coach John McKay, who was caught saying this on the sidelines thanks to an NFL Films microphone. 3. "I was in New York City and an empty cab pulled up, and Bowie Kuhn got out." A hilarious put-down of baseball commissioner Kuhn from Oakland A's owner Charlie O. Finley. 4. "Koufax would be a great pitcher, if the plate was high and outside." Either from a scouting report or a reporter -- not sure which -- back in the 1950s, when Sandy Koufax's w...