Originally written on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 11/14/14

DENVER - NOVEMBER 08: Dustin Penner #27 of the Edmonton Oilers awaits a faceoff against the Colorado Avalanche during NHL action at the Pepsi Center on November 8, 2009 in Denver, Colorado. The Oilers defeated the Avalanche 5-3. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Look... if I had a wife was as hot as Dustin Penner's wife... I'd eat whatever she'd put in front of me, not matter how much pain it caused.

Mmmmm. Pancakes.

Dustin Penner and Jessica Welch were married during the All-Star Break in 2011. (Good thing Penner knew he'd have a couple days down and wouldn't be selected to the All-Star Team, right? RIGHT?!?.) Jessica Welch might have a thing for hockey players already since she's Richard Zednik's ex-wife but even though there are rumors of infidelity between Penner and Welch... I can tell they are in love. How can I tell? Because I've seen their wedding video, that's how. (And you should go to that link soon too, because it will probably come down.)

Presenting the only thing Dustin Penner has scored on in 2011-2012.

Jessica poses in Dustin Penner's natural position. Sitting.

I can't even imagine the amount of mullets those women have seen naked.

For one second, I was trying to figure out why Jarome Iginla was Dustin Penner's best man.

Women may come and go... but he'll always have that ******* Ducks Stanley Cup Ring.

Wipe that smile off your face Mr. 2 Goals in 2011-2012.

Trust me, Dustin. That's the last ring you are going to be putting on for while.
Unless the KHL gives out rings. But even then you won't.

Really, Dustin? At 4.25 million per year you couldn't afford the white seamless dance floor?
I MEAN, COME ON! 

The best part of Dustin Penner's wedding video is that it shows that Dustin Penner is ready for the next big step in his career...

... being a contestant on The Bachelor

While his wife, Jessica, can start on the next chapter in her life.

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