Originally written on Puck Huffers  |  Last updated 11/19/14

PHILADELPHIA - SEPTEMBER 29: Mike Richards #18 of the Philadelphia Flyers looks on from the bench area during NHL preseason game action against the Minnesota Wild at the Wachovia Center on September 29, 2009 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Wild defeated the Flyers 5-4 in shootout overtime. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Having never been to Los Angeles, I really can't tell you how the Kings fit into their collective psyche. Suffice it to say, said collective psyche is probably getting Mike Richards Disease from a case of prolonged exposure. Also: people are dicks.
But we brought justice to the west coast. We rode into battle. It wasn't pretty at all. It was actually kind of ugly. But, as everyone is saying: wouldn't this be an amazing Stanley Cup Final.

We would be ******** our pants several times daily before Game 3. What are you even talking about.

MOST WOODWORK

Bob Errey claims the Kings are doing a "lot of woodwork" when they take like nine penalties. Including Rob Scuderi, who put a puck over the glass all by himself, causing the Kings to take some big-time timeout and act like they were calming things down.  It was actually insane. All kinds of slashing and poking. But apparently not enough to make a birdhouse or a clock.
The Pens obviously fail to score on the 5 on 3, because that's just what they do.  The 5 on 3 actually goes on for something like three frigging minutes (but we could be exaggerating)?  Anyway, Letang did some patient play and got the puck to Sullivan after getting eveyone turned around, on their knees, looking the other way.  JQuick was powerless.

It's Sullivan's first as a Penguin.  He means business.  The goal itself means business.  There will be no A's in shop class forthcoming.

James Neal's facial hair threatens to steal the spotlight from Sullivan's understated joy.  Hint: unsuccessful.

MOMENT YOU STARTED LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER
Early in the 2nd Kris Letang got attacked by Dustin Brown, decided he'd had enough of Brown's face, and had an angersplosion in his face.  It was a penalty.  Immediately thereafter, the Pens got "too many men" so it was the Kings' turn to be embarrassing.  It didn't quite happen for them, though, until later.  There was an awkward moment where Chris Kunitz's head was in a guy's crotch.  Kunitz was just everywhere tonight.
Vitale continues to work his balls off ans Sullivan never leaves the ice.  Something is up.
Robert Bortuzzo, who was pretty gosh darn solid for his first ever NHL game (i.e. he did a couple of little things and went otherwise unnoticed) got called for a rough.  We missed the replay so we're not experts.
Anyway, it was a Thing, and we're pretty sure Richards acted like he was dying for funsies.  We wouldn't be surprised if his memory has been modified and he believes he's singing at the Philadelphia Opera next week, and the only way he'll get to rehearsal is if he treats everyone around him like a huge dick.  We see a Mike Comrie highlight reel of a single empty net goal.  

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