Found July 27, 2012 on
Remember when Michael Phelps used to be interesting, fun and liked to let chicks take photos of him partying or smoking weed? Yeah, those were the days of MySpace. Seriously, four years ago we could do a MySpace photo search and find Phelps at a variety of University of Michigan houses getting smashed and chasing tail.
The guy is boring, doesn’t get publicly sh*tfaced and is at his final Olympics. Of course age (27) has something to do with that. And Subway doesn’t want to see you on TMZ throwing bills at strippers.
From a 2008 NY Times piece just after the Beijing Olympics:
“Michael Phelps is leaving Beijing as a global sports icon. He’s now with the likes of the Michael Jordans, Tiger Woods and Roger Federers and he’s earned every bit to be in that elite company,” said Michael Lynch, head of global sponsorship at Visa.
You know what happened next.
The Olympics start today and it’s kinda sad that hardly anyone even cares about Phelps. Sure, NBC will shove his rivalry with Lochte down your throat. Sure, Phelps will win a couple golds.
But the fun is over. The young chicks are no longer enamored. Vegas parties are old news. Michael Phelps is just another guy staring at retirement and pitching Subway sandwiches.
[Olympics: Michael Phelps, Ryan Lochte will kick off chlorine-soaked fun]
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Just like the last two Olympics, Michael Phelps will not march with Team USA at the Opening Ceremony. Phelps will not march because he has a swimming heat the following morning.
Phelps has a heat at 10AM in the 400 IM, one of the most grueling events, and marching and standing around for hours isn't the greatest thing to do when you need to get up early in the morning.
Arguably the greatest Olympic Athlete ever gave a very uninspiring performance this morning as Michael Phelps of the United States came very close to missing the medal round in the 400M IM this morning.
Phelps qualified in the eighth and final spot just making it by seven hundreths of a second.
Questions will now continue to arise as to whether or not the 14-time Olympic Gold...
Think back to the 90s. Now the 80s. Now the 70s. For those of you old enough to remember, think back to the 60s, the 50s, maybe even the 40s. Now dig into your mental history books, and try to remember every aspect of those years. Every event, every trend, every pivotal moment. Chances are, somewhere in your review of each decade, you thought of a sports moment. And chances are,...
The crowd at the Olympic Aquatics Centre arrived late, as if they were trying to stall off the inevitable. Anyone with a prized ticket to the first big showdown of the London Games had to know Michael Phelps was in trouble earlier in the day when he barely qualified for the final of the event he owns two gold medals in.
That was a shocker, but what happened Saturday night in the...
Michael Phelps didn't exactly get dressed up for his official
If there's such a thing as a textbook swimmer, Rwanda's Jackson Niyomugabo - not Michael Phelps - may be it.
That's because he learned how to swim from one.
Niyomugabo, who is competing at the London Olympics in the 50-meter freestyle, used a French book called ''The Secrets of Swimming Development'' to perfect his stroke.
''My main coach all...
The first U.S. swimmer to compete at five Olympics has some advice for Ryan Lochte and anyone else who wants to beat Michael Phelps: Keep quiet.
''If I was his competitor, I wouldn't say a word,'' four-time Olympic champion Dara Torres said Thursday.
Phelps' duel with U.S. teammate Lochte will be the main event in swimming at this year's Olympics, and...
"Call Me Maybe" Phelps Lochte Music Parody
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Every summer, there's always that one song that you can't seem to avoid. It's on the radio, it's on TV, you hear it in your sleep. Well this summer, that song is undoubtedly "Call Me Maybe," by Carly Rae Jepsen. And the growing trend seems to be parody videos of the song that just won't seem to go away. The latest group to hop on the "Call Me Maybe...
The Olympics are here and the first huge event for the USA is the matchup of the Olympic hero Michael Phelps and rival Ryan Lochte…the problem is the swimmers are not exactly where we expected them to be!
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Unless you watched it online, you’ll have to wait until the NBC tape delay tonight to watch it. Ryan Lochte won the Olympic 400-meter individual medley by more than 3 seconds and Michael Phelps finished a disappointing fourth. Phelps won the gold in this event four years ago with a world record time that still stands. Based on that you have to wonder if all the reports about Phelps...
In a rarity, swimming will be televised live on NBC Saturday morning. The NBC broadcast network will air live coverage of Saturday’s men’s 4×100 individual medley qualifying heats, featuring Americans Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. Coverage will air during the 5:00 AM-6:00 AM hour, with NBC cutting away from originally scheduled coverage of a the men’s cycling road race....
With the pageantry of the Opening Ceremony out of the way, night 1 of the swimming program saw four medal events taking place, two men’s and two women’s with a couple of semi finals in there too. Each day of the games I’ll be bringing you a brief recap of all the medal races from the Aquatic Centre so let’s get started with Day 1.
MEN’S 400m IDIVIDUAL MEDLEY
One of the...
On a stunner of an opening night at the pool in London, Michael Phelps was routed by his American rival, Ryan Lochte in the 400-meter individual medley, losing to Lochte by more than 4 seconds Saturday. That’s not all: The winningest Olympian ever didn’t win any medal at all, the first time that’s happened in a race of this magnitude since he was a 15-year-old kid competing...