Originally written on Deuce of Davenport  |  Last updated 11/11/14
You know David Price wouldn’t be as salty if he had to buy a breast pump for Eva Longoria. *******, I’ll just handle that myself.” Alas he’s stuck with the bill for Evan instead of Eva. Evan Longoria and his girlfriend had their first child and as we all know that means it’s time for friends and family to rush to the baby registry before all the cheap gifts are claimed. Price was slow on the uptake and ended up stuck with the breast pump, the most expensive gift on the registry. “A breast pump,” Price said. “Hey, Evan told me to buy a breast pump. So I bought a breast pump.” He managed to work up some bemused indignation over the whole thing. “Most expensive thing on the registry and I have to buy it.” Price made the mistake of checking to see what the couple needed instead of buying something he thought they could use or the kid could use when she gets a bit older like a onesie from the team shop. I’m like school on a Saturday. No class. Of course $300 means nothing to a player who’s earning $10.1 million this season but as Big Worm says “It’s principalities in this“. Speaking of baby showers, what’s up with men being invited to baby showers the past couple years? Has that always been a thing? I’ve found myself at several wondering what I was doing there along with the other men. We’ve been lucky so far in that they’ve been held at bars so we would congregate at the bar while the women did their thing. I once found myself suckered into some game where I had to wear a trash bag and eat pudding because I had no idea what went on at baby showers. It could also be that I didn’t get suckered. I’m just that stupid and unaware. I wake up with cold sweats in the middle of the night thinking about that day. I’m not mad at being invited to baby showers. Just wondering when that started happening. There’s also the phenomenon of the engagement party. I’m cool with them if I’m not required to give a gift and the couple just wants to celebrate making things official. However I’ve been invited to others where gifts were “encouraged”. **** that. You get one gift. Pick whether you want it for your engagement or wedding. If you’re holding a destination wedding where I have to cross international waters, expect your gift to be on the cheaper end. The exception? The wedding takes place on a boat in international waters and knife fighting monkeys are the post-wedding entertainment. Huzzah. I’ll make it rain on your registry. Short of that, just be aware. I already have three weddings this year. I swear I’ll get someone an air freshener if they decide to go with the Dodge Dart registry. Yes. Dodge has a car registry where people can log on and buy the lucky couple parts of a Dodge Dart. Chimp, you’re finally getting your wedding present. It’s Clutch. I mean a clutch.
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: Redskins could bench Robert Griffin III

Broncos have meeting with scoreboard operator

Report: Cowboys could still pursue Adrian Peterson

Manny Pacquiao: I'm ready to fight Floyd Mayweather Jr.

John Calipari gets daughter's birthday wrong

Carson: Hall of Fame career not worth concussion problems

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Tiger hires new swing coach

Is Sting making his WWE debut at Survivor Series?

Eric Decker: It's tough watching Emmanuel Sanders, Broncos

Semaje Perine breaks Melvin Gordon's rushing record

Report: Chip Kelly, Eagles GM not seeing eye-to-eye

Pete Carroll open to playing Richard Sherman at WR

WATCH: Eagles take opening kickoff 107 yards for TD

Western Carolina coach blasts Kirk Herbsreit

WATCH: Young reporter asks Helfrich funny question

Sager makes first appearance since leukemia diagnosis

Harvard kicker wears glasses

WATCH: Tennessee fans go a little overboard celebrating TD

Dwight Howard out indefinitely after having PRP on knee

Report: Mike Gundy pursuing Florida job

WATCH: Jameis Winston gets away with shoving an official

WATCH: Georgia's Chris Conley makes diving TD catch

WATCH: Nebraska blocks field goal, returns it for TD

Florida DL shows support for Will Muschamp with eye black

Rays News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

Cowboys to pursue Adrian Peterson?

Cal gets daughter's bday wrong

Carson: Career not worth concussions

Report: Gundy pursuing Florida job

Tiger hires new swing coach

WATCH: Jameis Winston shoves ref

Florida DL supports Will Muschamp with eye black

Jay Gruden: RG3 has been 'coddled'

LeBron: Love needs to 'demand' the ball

Bills-Jets game will be free admission

Pete Carroll: Lynch is 'our guy'

Which NFL team will get the #1 pick?

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.