Differential Diagnosis

We knew it was going to be ugly this season, but who’d have predicted that the Celtics would develop into a collection of medical mysteries so bizarre that even TV's “House” and his crack staff would be perplexed? CelticsDoom presents, as a public health service, the following diagnoses for our ailing squad in green.Telfailure – “Bronchospasms,” and an obvious lack of size, motivation and intelligence. Danny Ainge thanks the latter day saints for Brandon Roy and his orthopedic boot, otherwise David Stern would likely intercede and turn the team over to this blog and/or a random number generator before the all-star break. In other words, “Worst Trade Ever.” An honorary hamcock to the first fan with a “Telfair sucks my Dickau” sign at the TDBKG.Al Jefferson – first he loses his heart, then his brains (aka “footwork”), and now his appendix. The winner in all of this? Clifford Ray, who in the minds of Celtics fans has gone from being “off-season fix-it-all cipher” to the cipher who ...