Kiss my assets

Few things in life are as dispiriting as being patronized by the dim witted and wealthy, so news that Wyc Grousbeck was handing out free “inspirational” literature to the Celtics squad during their recent losing streak, struck us hard here at the nearly abandoned CelticsDoom HQ. We needed to respond quickly and without equivocation, so we’ve dispatched our new intern Dr. Bob Dylan to spread the word of Grousbeck-ian folly.Dr. Bob writes exclusively to us at our hideout in Satan Monica, CA to explain his disdain: “Wyc ain’t a man so much as a slinky beast that crawls on his belly, jiving up the ghosts in the rafters with a bunch of California whores dressed in green pasties and hot pants, like some kind of carnival of the damned and/or easily entertained.” We concur. Thanks for reviving us with your hard work, Bob.Anyway, as the NBA trade deadline approaches and Celtics fans scurry to concoct all manner of unbelievable trade nonsense, we present as a public service, the CelticsDoom &...