Originally written on Extra Pine Tar  |  Last updated 11/19/14

So here was the most non-shocking news I’ve heard since I found out that John Travolta was trying to pay his masseurs for sexual favors – Chris “Birdman” Andersen is being investigated for child pornography.

Personally, I think we all should feel terrible about not doing anything about this before he got caught. It’s not exactly like he was hiding it. I mean look at him! He has child pornography written all over him – maybe literally, for all we know. The guy is absolutely covered in strange, twisted, colorful tattoos to the point that it’s really kind gross to look at him. I have to turn off the TV when the Nuggets are playing because I’d rather not throw up.

He was also suspended a few years back for something just categorized as “drug abuse,” which we now know may have actually been “kiddie porn abuse. What a disgusting individual you are Chris Andersen.

It was one thing when he was helping his team win games. Now, he’s not all that good, he’s absolutely repulsive, and he’s apparently getting his kicks by watching little kids. Investigators actually came to his house and removed things from the property, yet Birdman is still ready to play tonight in Game 6 against the Lakers.

Go Nuggets!

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